There are things in life I am not good at or with... I am not good at handling disappointment or hurt. Not sure if anyone is or not, but it is not my strong point. I get stuck there at times to the point of anger and high frustrations. I am also not good at standing my ground when I want to please others that I love. I would rather you be pleased than do whatever I want, nevertheless feel as though each give is killing apart of me inside. I muster through it for greater reasons like peace, and compromise. Yet, when those things are not acknowledged the stickiness of the process begins this stir in me that I do not know how to handle. There are times I want to hate because of hurt, but in a second glance feel so sorry for those that caused the hurt. Typically their lives are a pitiful mess that they themselves cannot see.
My greatest delight in thought is when I can place spiritual and secular/natural together. Not church lingo or Christianese... but real connections of who I am holistically. Or the understanding of who people really are holistically. I was taught to stay away from the nasty in life. The "Bad People" those that lie, cheat, and steal for whatever reason. My biggest adult struggle is and was grasping that God loves them just as much as he loves me. Most might say, "Well Duh" to that thought. What I am really saying is... living holy does not make God love me anymore than running a muck. His stance never changes. Living holy does not make me closer to God's love than it does if I cheat. Isn't that the goal in Christianity to be closer to God? However, the older I get I am understanding it is not my actions of what I am or not doing that draws me closer to God, but my transparency of the reality of me recognizing really who I am.
There is a minister named, Nadia Bolz-Weber, who also happens to be an author. She now does little clips of thought on social media, but I first was approached by her thoughts through her book, "Accidental Saints, finding God in all the wrong people." It is a great book that will change Christian goggles of who and what God is loving. The dividing line that Christian puts in place typically of an 'US and Them.' The longer I walk this life, I understand I am 'THEM' and 'US' is a made up thought never created by God, but by man. That our journeys are not a one size fits all, and it is okay for it not to be. Walking out your salvation is just that, your walk. That thought gives a whole different stance of how we should view everything around us.
My thoughts this morning are circling. Those that I say are pitiful messes that frustrate me, anger me, disappointment me, and hurt me...are exactly the same as this pitiful mess. I am 'THEM.' God loves them just as much as he loves me. Secular society defines us by labels, but that is not how we are seen through the eyes of God. There is no dividing line. We are all his and he loves all the same with the same measure. I know that challenges theology in my little Bible belt. I am okay with that. I would rather me let God love me for my authentic self than to work up a self that is untrue. I get so judgmental when I watch others think they are better than others, yet I do the same in other ways. It might not be because of material things, but it happens with spiritual things, moral, and ethical ways. You know the core of people, which is the worse place to judge, because we are all so flawed. We/I cast stones labeled from the labels given to us which reproduce this vicious cycle of destroying one's spirit. How about that for Christian? I guess my reality this morning is those that hurt and frustrate me are me... mirrored, and it is actually the cause of my hurt and frustration. I am 'THEM.' (OUCH!)
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