It is December 30th, 2017 and I got to sleep in until 6:40 a.m. It doesn't seem much different than 5:30 a.m. but to me it is Heaven. One of my favorite songs is Heaven By Sir the Baptist. Now don't rush out to buy it, because it might not be your thing. It is risky social justice music with the hint of spiritual realness and some might call it "Hip Hop." Sir the Baptist actually calls his own genre of music when asked, "Church Pub Rap." Seems like an oxymoron, doesn't it? Which is probably why I really like it.
I love this song. I could listen to it for hours, actually his whole album, Sinner or Saint. However, this particular song even the boys know. When it comes on we all start dancing and singing. You will hear little boy voices busting out at the chorus, "Feels like Heaven." The basis of the song is that everyone's Heaven is different, whether it be in the natural or in the spiritual. See my Heaven was 6:40 a.m. this morning. For others it is for another time, or reason, but everyone searches for a somewhat of a natural Heaven just as much as a spiritual Heaven. It is a time and place that we say, "This is wonderful. Or that when we say it doesn't get any better than this_______." My natural Heaven is usually quiet. And for me that too is an oxymoron. I find it when no one is home and every animal is sleeping. I find it sitting on a beach just watching the ocean, while no one talks. I find it at a cabin, while sitting in a hot tub outside by myself looking at nature. My natural Heavens center me, speak to me, calms me, and refreshes me. I wonder why that is? I am sure there are scientific reasons for it, and also spiritual reasons for it.
There are powerful statements throughout the song that challenges my spiritual thinking with the natural. I hope they do you the same as you read. Everyone wants a Heaven, whether you get it from the drug lord or the good Lord. Everyone wants a taste of Heaven. I was told once by someone who works with Peace and Social Justice issues on a daily basis, "Everyone is their best they can be in that moment. No one in life is saying to themselves I am going to give my worse." I use to struggle with that statement, because it conflicted with my spiritual gauge of right and wrong. I am not going to say that I do not still struggle a little with that statement, because I have built a fort of spiritual beliefs that have been taught to me as truths instead of me experiencing truth. Then yes I could get into a faith debate within myself.
In Appalachia we have a culture different than other parts of the country, whether people want to believe it or not. We see God differently and teach God differently. Faith is grown from a Man, typically, behind a pulpit. That Man, wouldn't do or say anything contrary to what God would want or says, right? Questioning those words would mean you are questioning or we would say 'sinning' against God in this area. So people in Appalachia mostly regurgitate what they hear from a pulpit, and say it is God and claim faith to it. It is very cult like, actually. In Appalachia we are not divided as Christian or non-Christian. We are are divided more by denomination, which determines whether you are Christian or non-Christian. People do not ask you about your Christianity, but more where you go to church, which will determine your Christianity...Baptist seems to be the most holy (at least in my family), Nazarenes are close, Methodist are close, Presbyterians are close, Pentecostals (now thats just too far), Church of Christ (only ones going to Heaven), Disciples of Christ, United Church of Christ, or Unitarians let anyone and anything (definitely not Christians), and same with Jewish, Catholics, Muslims, or Greek Orthotics definitely not. If people from my area are reading at first there will not be agreement to my statements, because also in Appalachia we pride ourselves on hospitality to all people. However, we mask it by stating our religious belief system to hide our prejudices. I know that's harsh. But I will give an illustration of how we do it... "You know Mary Smith that lives on Main Street? No. Oh yes you do. The lady that goes to the Catholic church." Not only do we divide ourselves by denomination, but in Appalachia we divide ourselves by denomination and color (mind you in Appalachia also their is only black and white, anyone of color other than white is black).... the black baptist church, the black spirit filled church...we still typically throughout areas of our cities are very segregated in where we live, churches, and even in schools. Needless to say, our Heavens look different in the natural and the spiritual.
I believe where we miss it the most in life is we do not look at people's hearts, but instead judge others by what they perceive or need for their natural Heaven. Whether it is drugs, glass of wine, a beer, home, success, sports, relationship, a beach, religion, church, songs, we strive for our Heaven in the natural and in the spiritual. We try to put in our spiritual Heavens into words that try to articulate greatness, or the most wonderful things on earth... pearly gates, streets of gold, mansions, or 100 virgins...then when we struggle with any of those things descriptions so we say Heaven is the presence of God... I can tell you I struggle with articulating spiritual Heaven because I have never been there, and the only person who described what it looked like to us a human beings was John. (I say that from the Bible's perspective) Jesus never even describes what it looks like in the Bible, just John. I am going to tell you it is hard for me to believe John's view, when his account of describing spiritual Heaven was after others tried to poison him to death (which he did not die from), and then left on an island to die. Just saying.
However, the song Heaven, articulates my thoughts on the matter quite nicely. Let me tell you what I am going to do when I get to Heaven. I'm gonna see everybody that Hell didn't bring through. All the Greats you said wouldn't make it to the Gates. But we showed our hearts. I am going to say it again because it makes me want to have church... BUT WE SHOWED OUR HEARTS... can't wait...I want to see my Heaven.
Saturday, December 30, 2017
Tuesday, December 26, 2017
"The Rope"
Right after 5:30 a.m., there are crazy noises that come from our living room. You will hear it in waves of moans and groans of struggle. It then will run up the stairs to the bedrooms, then down the stairs to the basement then back to the living room through the kitchen. Intermit, you will her pats of feet with no sound effects saying, "Chase me." Then back to the moans and groans of struggle. It is the most exciting toy in this house a rope. Millie (English bulldog) and Charlee (puppy) have assumed their position to wrestle with pulling the rope until one gets bored.
Since I have vowed to be more transparent in my thinking, owning my truth, and sharing it for the world to see, you gain an audience. Sometimes, it is the audience you might not want. It could be the audience that you do want, but gets offended by my wide-openness. Do I write for the audience or do I write for me? That is still up for debate. However, I would say those who read this need it just as much as I do. At this point, my part in the relationship is to be as bare as possible. I need to be that, and it seems others around me, or others that read these crazy blogs need it too.
In earlier blogs I owned being a disruptor in life. It is who I am. Part of that aspect of me is I love to wrestle with the ropes of life. It makes me smile typing it, and I get excited just thinking about it. I will pick up a rope and begin to run, all the while, baiting others to chase me. It is really fun to me, but some people do not like to play with rope. See at the end of a rope wrestle, there is a possibility that you end up with some cuts and bruises. You could be sore and you could lose the game. That is just too much for some people. So they won't play. Sometimes they think they want to play and jump in grab the rope then end up hating me, because the game went down the stairs or up to the bedrooms. The rope wrestle will expose ALL, even me. I always look at these things differently. It makes me stronger for the next time I play with the rope. I learn something new during a wrestle, but I never come out of a rope wrestle hating those that play. It is seems I like them more. It is almost sickening when you think about it. Shouldn't I hate those that oppose me? Shouldn't I be mad when someone pulls against me? Frankly, I am not. I actually think of them often, because when someone is not willing to wrestle the ropes of life out, it means the rope, and me are just not worth the fight. Like I said, playing with rope exposes us ALL.
I have learned this week those that play rope with me often know these things about me, and like to play rope just as much as I do. Playing rope is not for the weak, physically or emotionally. It exposes our weaknesses. Adults have terrible social and emotional skills these days, so it seems. Most need preschool curriculum and components in their lives. That is where you learn to play rope. Share...forgive...play...see no prejudices...make friends...love without filters...wrestle...learn responsibility...and repeat.
I am going to make a bold statement which could be offensive to some. If you are not willing to wrestle with the ropes of life with me, then I probably do not want you in my life. (Please everyone gasp) Lol. Harsh and true statement. If I cannot count on you to wrestle struggle out with me, or your struggle out with me, then you will not be around if I am wrestling with another rope of life. In this day and age, you can unfollow me, unfriend me, block me if you must, because I will play rope. Why is that? It is a necessity to me in being authentic, transparent, honest, and having integrity. I will call you out. I will own being called out. But at the end of the day, all that we are will be exposed. You can run from it, give up, or hide. All that is on you, because if you do it with me, then you will do it with others. I cannot account for your actions nor be your judge. Nonetheless, you will find me waiting with a rope, waiting to wrestle, because I will see if exposure will make you a lasting fixture in my life.
I use to take it hard when people would not be lasting fixtures of my life, that is no longer the case. It now seemingly prevents more heart-ache. The biggest reason people do not play rope as adults is in the name of God. Poor God gets almost the brunt of everything. Jesus wouldn't act that way... Jesus wouldn't talk that way... I hate to break the news to some Christians or denounce views of who Jesus is... But... Jesus was in the center of all kinds of conflict. He was the conflict. Not only was he "THE ROPE," he never ran from a wrestle. Many brought the ropes of life to him, yet every challenge he accepted. If my mind serves me right, the only conflict he did not resolve or reconcile through was when his mind was on ALL the WHOSOEVERS instead of pleasing the religious. However, he knew the WHOSOEVERS would be the gain, resolve and reconciliation, which also is the religious.
You might find your Jesus in a box, in a church, in a desire, in a synagogue, in creation, only with people that look, talk and act like you. And you know what? Those will be your things you get to answer for...But as for me don't get mad, because I find mine near a rope, or that I am running by you with a rope. Just smile and say, "There she goes again, her feet patting, Chase me." Come play if you like...I always make room and I will introduce to you my Jesus.
Since I have vowed to be more transparent in my thinking, owning my truth, and sharing it for the world to see, you gain an audience. Sometimes, it is the audience you might not want. It could be the audience that you do want, but gets offended by my wide-openness. Do I write for the audience or do I write for me? That is still up for debate. However, I would say those who read this need it just as much as I do. At this point, my part in the relationship is to be as bare as possible. I need to be that, and it seems others around me, or others that read these crazy blogs need it too.
In earlier blogs I owned being a disruptor in life. It is who I am. Part of that aspect of me is I love to wrestle with the ropes of life. It makes me smile typing it, and I get excited just thinking about it. I will pick up a rope and begin to run, all the while, baiting others to chase me. It is really fun to me, but some people do not like to play with rope. See at the end of a rope wrestle, there is a possibility that you end up with some cuts and bruises. You could be sore and you could lose the game. That is just too much for some people. So they won't play. Sometimes they think they want to play and jump in grab the rope then end up hating me, because the game went down the stairs or up to the bedrooms. The rope wrestle will expose ALL, even me. I always look at these things differently. It makes me stronger for the next time I play with the rope. I learn something new during a wrestle, but I never come out of a rope wrestle hating those that play. It is seems I like them more. It is almost sickening when you think about it. Shouldn't I hate those that oppose me? Shouldn't I be mad when someone pulls against me? Frankly, I am not. I actually think of them often, because when someone is not willing to wrestle the ropes of life out, it means the rope, and me are just not worth the fight. Like I said, playing with rope exposes us ALL.
I have learned this week those that play rope with me often know these things about me, and like to play rope just as much as I do. Playing rope is not for the weak, physically or emotionally. It exposes our weaknesses. Adults have terrible social and emotional skills these days, so it seems. Most need preschool curriculum and components in their lives. That is where you learn to play rope. Share...forgive...play...see no prejudices...make friends...love without filters...wrestle...learn responsibility...and repeat.
I am going to make a bold statement which could be offensive to some. If you are not willing to wrestle with the ropes of life with me, then I probably do not want you in my life. (Please everyone gasp) Lol. Harsh and true statement. If I cannot count on you to wrestle struggle out with me, or your struggle out with me, then you will not be around if I am wrestling with another rope of life. In this day and age, you can unfollow me, unfriend me, block me if you must, because I will play rope. Why is that? It is a necessity to me in being authentic, transparent, honest, and having integrity. I will call you out. I will own being called out. But at the end of the day, all that we are will be exposed. You can run from it, give up, or hide. All that is on you, because if you do it with me, then you will do it with others. I cannot account for your actions nor be your judge. Nonetheless, you will find me waiting with a rope, waiting to wrestle, because I will see if exposure will make you a lasting fixture in my life.
I use to take it hard when people would not be lasting fixtures of my life, that is no longer the case. It now seemingly prevents more heart-ache. The biggest reason people do not play rope as adults is in the name of God. Poor God gets almost the brunt of everything. Jesus wouldn't act that way... Jesus wouldn't talk that way... I hate to break the news to some Christians or denounce views of who Jesus is... But... Jesus was in the center of all kinds of conflict. He was the conflict. Not only was he "THE ROPE," he never ran from a wrestle. Many brought the ropes of life to him, yet every challenge he accepted. If my mind serves me right, the only conflict he did not resolve or reconcile through was when his mind was on ALL the WHOSOEVERS instead of pleasing the religious. However, he knew the WHOSOEVERS would be the gain, resolve and reconciliation, which also is the religious.
You might find your Jesus in a box, in a church, in a desire, in a synagogue, in creation, only with people that look, talk and act like you. And you know what? Those will be your things you get to answer for...But as for me don't get mad, because I find mine near a rope, or that I am running by you with a rope. Just smile and say, "There she goes again, her feet patting, Chase me." Come play if you like...I always make room and I will introduce to you my Jesus.
Saturday, December 23, 2017
"Look for the Gift"
On this early Saturday morning, I cannot help but almost be on my knees begging for Charlee (the puppy) to please sleep-in. At 5 a.m. on the dot, she would not hear of such things. However, this morning we have more than a party of one. Not sure why Millie (our English Bulldog), has jumped at the opportunity to get in the action this morning, but today it seems it suits her. If you have never been around a English Bulldog they are very comical in their own right. They are funny looking, graced with an underbite, short nose, and let the wrinkles fall where they may. Funny looking. The kind that are so ugly, that they are cute. They make the weirdest noises, with every movement, or even when they are not moving at all. It is constant Chewbacca-like sounds, yet moves like Jabba-the-hut, as they pivot on their butts using their front paws while they are sitting. They are very "bullheaded" as you give commands. Some would say, "Now be nice. They are just stubborn." However, she makes us laugh. I always have wanted this breed of dog. I like beefy dogs, but this breed always seemed out of my reach as they are pricey. I also have heard they all have medical issues. Knock on wood, so far I have found to be false. But in this house, I am Millie's person. As I even type that, I am shaking my head...smh, because she is a hot mess.
Millie doesn't like to share. She wants control of every environment, food bowl, dog toy, dog bed, or even when everyone needs to go out to potty. If she is around, you will not have any personal space, and at times no breathable air. (Her gas is horrible.) Did I say I always wanted this dog and how pricey they are? Typically to the tune of $1000- $2800. Ohh and at the moment while everyone else is sleeping this house its like romper-room... my Shhhh isn't cutting it. I am really waiting for the sleeping to start awakening, and then implode on Charlee and Millie, maybe then I can go back to bed.
It seems dogs lately are teaching me a lot about humanity. Millie is very relatable and I know people just like her. We all are stubborn at times, want control, have horrible gas, give others no space, and can be funny looking. While others just sit back, and laugh at us. I wonder sometimes does God think some of the ways we think about things? "Oh look, she is so ugly that she is cute. I can't help, but love her." One must wonder. My God is like that I believe. He finds somewhat humor in my nastiness, yet loves me anyway. My God knew how pricey I was, and bought me anyway. Knowing how many issues I really could have and do have.
We are days away from what the Christian community calls, Advent to be over. Christmas is almost here. It seems that this is a time of year that we want all our ugliness to disappear. We go to Church more in this season, be more kind to others during this season, spend time with each other during this season, eat more during this season, sing more, give and receive more in this season. It is the season of more of our best of whatever that is, and who deserves what gift? We teach children, naughty or nice is the definition of who gets what or gets period. But is that true? Not just in this season, but in life? I can attest that in my adulthood, nasty people still get good gifts. Which conflicts with everything I have ever been taught. Just like with Millie, she is probably the nastiest character/personality of pet we have, but she definitely has the most in this house. If she doesn't she will take it anyway. I know those people. Those people in life that we say, "But they don't deserve that..." Whatever that might be. Then we mutter, "Life is just not fair." How do we rationalize those that lie, cheat, steal, and continue to have more than those that are honest, and work hard? Is it life is just not fair? I don't buy it anymore.
We have all heard spiritual spin, "For he causes the sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the just and the unjust." Here is the difference that I rationalize...being good, kind, working hard, and loving the Lord will always bring me hope, peace, joy, and love. An Advent season all the time. Imagine that? I do not need to anticipate something I already have. For me this is not the season for the anticipation of Christ birth during the Advent season, but the acknowledgement I have a gift that I too do not deserve, but there is no waiting or anticipating needed. So even when the sun rises on the evil and good and the rain comes to the just and unjust... I am not still seeking with anticipation like maybe the evil or so called unjust are...I have my hope, peace, joy, and love. No one can take that from me, nor can anything or anyone give it to me... it just was a gift, I didn't deserve but just needed to receive.
Millie doesn't like to share. She wants control of every environment, food bowl, dog toy, dog bed, or even when everyone needs to go out to potty. If she is around, you will not have any personal space, and at times no breathable air. (Her gas is horrible.) Did I say I always wanted this dog and how pricey they are? Typically to the tune of $1000- $2800. Ohh and at the moment while everyone else is sleeping this house its like romper-room... my Shhhh isn't cutting it. I am really waiting for the sleeping to start awakening, and then implode on Charlee and Millie, maybe then I can go back to bed.
It seems dogs lately are teaching me a lot about humanity. Millie is very relatable and I know people just like her. We all are stubborn at times, want control, have horrible gas, give others no space, and can be funny looking. While others just sit back, and laugh at us. I wonder sometimes does God think some of the ways we think about things? "Oh look, she is so ugly that she is cute. I can't help, but love her." One must wonder. My God is like that I believe. He finds somewhat humor in my nastiness, yet loves me anyway. My God knew how pricey I was, and bought me anyway. Knowing how many issues I really could have and do have.
We are days away from what the Christian community calls, Advent to be over. Christmas is almost here. It seems that this is a time of year that we want all our ugliness to disappear. We go to Church more in this season, be more kind to others during this season, spend time with each other during this season, eat more during this season, sing more, give and receive more in this season. It is the season of more of our best of whatever that is, and who deserves what gift? We teach children, naughty or nice is the definition of who gets what or gets period. But is that true? Not just in this season, but in life? I can attest that in my adulthood, nasty people still get good gifts. Which conflicts with everything I have ever been taught. Just like with Millie, she is probably the nastiest character/personality of pet we have, but she definitely has the most in this house. If she doesn't she will take it anyway. I know those people. Those people in life that we say, "But they don't deserve that..." Whatever that might be. Then we mutter, "Life is just not fair." How do we rationalize those that lie, cheat, steal, and continue to have more than those that are honest, and work hard? Is it life is just not fair? I don't buy it anymore.
We have all heard spiritual spin, "For he causes the sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the just and the unjust." Here is the difference that I rationalize...being good, kind, working hard, and loving the Lord will always bring me hope, peace, joy, and love. An Advent season all the time. Imagine that? I do not need to anticipate something I already have. For me this is not the season for the anticipation of Christ birth during the Advent season, but the acknowledgement I have a gift that I too do not deserve, but there is no waiting or anticipating needed. So even when the sun rises on the evil and good and the rain comes to the just and unjust... I am not still seeking with anticipation like maybe the evil or so called unjust are...I have my hope, peace, joy, and love. No one can take that from me, nor can anything or anyone give it to me... it just was a gift, I didn't deserve but just needed to receive.
Monday, December 18, 2017
"Ever-After"
Tomorrow, will mark 3 years that I have been married to Tandance Jo. Since I started writing blogs, and my thoughts she has been waiting on her novel, solely about herself of course. We have an interesting story. To be frank, I do not know any part of my life that is not interesting, unique, or seemly a little complex. Not sure why I thought finding my soulmate would be any different. As a little girl you have these ideals in your head what it all should look like. Rest assure, it doesn't look anything like that. My picture of ever-after looked like I would be on the mission field teaching children. It looked like I would marry a dark hansom man, most likely of another nationality. I would just be loving Jesus, and having kids. I would be treated like a princess, because my daddy taught me to not settle for anything else. Scripture says,"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." I believed it. I still do. Since I was 18 years-old, I have been on this journey learning sometimes we just do not even know what really are the desires of our heart until they unfold, little by little.
I did not think that ever-after would be 21 years older than me, female, 2 boys, 3 dogs, 2 cats, and teaching in the heart of the highest crime, and drug related city in America as of right now. I didn't think it was going to be a house on a hill, coaching sports, community advocate for children, or a minister. I didn't think that ever-after would be a journey of broken hearts, some broken dreams, and plain ole missing the mark. I didn't think ever-after would consist of so many schedules, dirty laundry, dinners organized, processes to complete a task, and so many lists. (Tandy makes lists for everything.)
Mainly, I did not think that ever-after would be as full as it is. It is full of laughs, from sun up to sun down. It is full of yelling, hugs, kisses, experiences of life, hard decisions, gentle touches, food, giving, many sorries, sweatshirts (now just not 2 closets full but every bed post), socks (I can't even shut the drawer), bras (hanging on every knob in our bathroom), 3 drawers given just for PJs for the winter, or so many 'Shit Fire Chana Dawns' one day could handle. I am full.
I have received the once in a life-time love from another human-being that loves me just the way I am. That even in my craziness of always on the move, she keeps me grounded and stable. That is a task all to itself. I got the desire of my heart. The packaging didn't happen the way I thought it would, but God typically never sends it that way. It is His M.O. so it seems. The King of kings, Prince of Peace, and Lord of lords came into this world in dirty animal shack, and was introduced as an adult riding on a jack ass. If Jesus was from God and that was His packaging, then I must realize my 59 year-old, arthritic hands, cussing bulldog, hilarious wife, who drinks Michelob Ultra, yet masterful cook, with the heart as big as Texas, as she puts every ounce of love on a plate is also from the Lord. Tandance Jo is mine, and I am hers. I still get engulfed by her smile, laugh, and hospitality to others. I make her laugh, even though she at times wants to kill me. I flash a half crooked smile which makes her not want to snap my neck. I am treated like a princess, yet I scoop her up every chance I get. WE were given the desires of our hearts. Three years ago, I married my ever-after.
I did not think that ever-after would be 21 years older than me, female, 2 boys, 3 dogs, 2 cats, and teaching in the heart of the highest crime, and drug related city in America as of right now. I didn't think it was going to be a house on a hill, coaching sports, community advocate for children, or a minister. I didn't think that ever-after would be a journey of broken hearts, some broken dreams, and plain ole missing the mark. I didn't think ever-after would consist of so many schedules, dirty laundry, dinners organized, processes to complete a task, and so many lists. (Tandy makes lists for everything.)
Mainly, I did not think that ever-after would be as full as it is. It is full of laughs, from sun up to sun down. It is full of yelling, hugs, kisses, experiences of life, hard decisions, gentle touches, food, giving, many sorries, sweatshirts (now just not 2 closets full but every bed post), socks (I can't even shut the drawer), bras (hanging on every knob in our bathroom), 3 drawers given just for PJs for the winter, or so many 'Shit Fire Chana Dawns' one day could handle. I am full.
I have received the once in a life-time love from another human-being that loves me just the way I am. That even in my craziness of always on the move, she keeps me grounded and stable. That is a task all to itself. I got the desire of my heart. The packaging didn't happen the way I thought it would, but God typically never sends it that way. It is His M.O. so it seems. The King of kings, Prince of Peace, and Lord of lords came into this world in dirty animal shack, and was introduced as an adult riding on a jack ass. If Jesus was from God and that was His packaging, then I must realize my 59 year-old, arthritic hands, cussing bulldog, hilarious wife, who drinks Michelob Ultra, yet masterful cook, with the heart as big as Texas, as she puts every ounce of love on a plate is also from the Lord. Tandance Jo is mine, and I am hers. I still get engulfed by her smile, laugh, and hospitality to others. I make her laugh, even though she at times wants to kill me. I flash a half crooked smile which makes her not want to snap my neck. I am treated like a princess, yet I scoop her up every chance I get. WE were given the desires of our hearts. Three years ago, I married my ever-after.
Saturday, December 16, 2017
"Stones"
Once again it is early in the morning and I have an audience of one, our 10 week old puppy Charlee. All the other animals in the house want to dismiss her at this time of the morning as she climbs, bites, and pulls at any part of their bodies that she can get her razor sharp teeth in or on. This time of the morning is definitely game time for her. But I can assure you most of the house is not a fan of Charlee's timing. I always imagine that most of the animals, especially the cats, walk around giving Charlee the 'bird' just at her mere presence. We have 3 dogs (including Charlee) and 2 cats. All have their own distinct personality. Probably the most tolerable to Charlee is Bella who is the old lady of the bunch. She is my oldest son's dog, Luke David. She is a big Golden Labrador Retriever, she weighs about 100 lbs, and long hair. Her face is starting to really gray, and she doesn't get up like she use to, but will protect the boys and our family till death. It is the only dog I have ever seen in a pack of puppies pick you.
My ex-husband and I wanted to get Luke David a dog. I called an ad in the paper selling Golden Labrador Retrievers, but soon realized I knew the person I was calling. We went out to her house and in a double garage there were 13 puppies. They all look liked these huge balls of golden/orange fur. Luke David could barely walk and had never been around puppies. I put him down in the middle of them and the puppies scattered, all but one, our Bella. She let that toddler drag her, carry her, lay on her, pull her, and she never batted an eye, never thought to bite, or even growl. She is still that way even in her old age as Charlee is now the toddler in the house. However, if another animal were to come into our yard, or person we do not know if she will lay into them like a hungry wild animal. One time Luke David was walking down our sidewalk, which is a long sidewalk, toward the house and actually a bigger male Golden Labrador Retriever came down to him, which scared him. This dog was large. I was in the kitchen and could see him through the door. He started screaming and it made the dog excited, and it seemed like he wanted to play with Luke David. Bella was inside and heard him scream. She ran to the door growling and going nuts. I opened the door and Luke David ran to me, but Bella ran out and lit into that dog by the neck dragging him up the hill and out of our yard. I never saw that dog again. I have to keep her in if the boys go throughout the neighborhood, because she mothers the boys and I am afraid she might hurt another dog if they get to close to them. We live in a friendly area and most pets get to rome, on occasion. So she just sits at the door and cries once they leave, and then waits on their return.
We always talk about how animals have their pecking order of a pack. We humans have the same thing. It might differ from community to community, meaning the order is different in different atmospheres, however I have learned it doesn't change much. The funny person typically is the funny person in any group they are apart of, same as the bossy one, the judgmental one, the Debbie downer one, etc...you get the picture. Hierarchy might change some but their role typically doesn't, and the only reason hierarchy changes is because of whatever is the most important value of the group. Funny might not be as important in a church as it is in a school, make sense? I typically do not pay much attention to pecking orders of groups. I am a disruptor. Anyone that knows me reading this will say, yep and give a laugh. It doesn't matter what group or atmosphere I am in that is what I do. It is never in a disrespectful way, but my place in the world is to stir things up. I never fit in conformity, and I challenge every atmosphere's typical norms that I am apart of. In a ultra Christian concervative world they call it, 'rebellious.' Why can't she just submit to the ways that are right? You know because there is always only one way. I have to laugh at those things/ statements, now. But not long ago, I let them keep me in chains of shame and guilt, because I thought something was wrong with me spiritually. I was created to be a shaker, stirrer not a sustainer in environments. I am created to challenge people to think maybe just a little differently about a situation, a person, view point, or belief system.
This past week I got to do just that, by not ever saying a word. You see because I am a person that challenges not everyone likes me to be close. Who wants to be challenged all the time? People come to me when they do or are ready for it. They will come for advice, for me to speak in tough situations, to lead when it is challenging, but on the daily, I am kept at arms length. I own it and as I have grown older understand it. I walked into a gymnasium this past week full of the small community I live in and where my boys go to school. We are not the cool family...once again I have to laugh because we really are a COOL family. However, we are not looked as that in the community. This is who we are in our mostly conservative Christian community, we are the only "OUT" couple. Oh and we really shake things up, because I have 2 boys from my first marriage. My ex-husband is one of my best-friends and his family loves my wife, and me still. My wife, is an extremely great cook, who does not meet a stranger, who is nice to everyone, and is very funny. It is really quite hilarious. Most people do not know what to do with us, because we do not fit their belief system. To add to it, I have coached most of the COOL kids in the community or are coaching them, taught them, and I am President of the local youth football league. We are not the family that gets invites, we are the family that challenges just with our mere presence. We really like and love people in our community. We also are huge advocates for children, strive for integrity, and try our best to be authentic. And guess what... We love Jesus. I think most like and love us, but we just get talked about because people don't know what to do with us.
However, as we walked into the packed gymnasium trying to figure out where to sit. As we sat down, I wondered what others were thinking, but quickly told my mind, "I do not care." Believe it or not, sometimes I have to coach myself in overwhelming and over stimulating situations. I decided to have my own sermon in my mind. I didn't talk much to those around me as of course my wife just chatted it up. My sermon went something like this, "Chana, sometimes you must choose if you are going to pick up a rock. People, all people deserve the stones. Jesus knew that because he said, 'Those with no sin among you cast the first stone.' Will you pick up a rock or will you not?" I was convinced in my mind people were staring at me and my wife wondering where we would sit. My presence showed those who sat around me that I will not pick up the rock. And in return, you know what they did? They didn't pick up the rock either, they invited us to Church. Imagine that? This same situation gave me opportunity to minister and uplift others who were struggling, but at the same time I got ministered to also. No matter the stones in others hands, we ALL have junk. We should walk with our heads high, say hello to all, be kind to all, and be fair. You will never change people's thoughts of your sins. You can never change things unless you infiltrate them.
My ex-husband and I wanted to get Luke David a dog. I called an ad in the paper selling Golden Labrador Retrievers, but soon realized I knew the person I was calling. We went out to her house and in a double garage there were 13 puppies. They all look liked these huge balls of golden/orange fur. Luke David could barely walk and had never been around puppies. I put him down in the middle of them and the puppies scattered, all but one, our Bella. She let that toddler drag her, carry her, lay on her, pull her, and she never batted an eye, never thought to bite, or even growl. She is still that way even in her old age as Charlee is now the toddler in the house. However, if another animal were to come into our yard, or person we do not know if she will lay into them like a hungry wild animal. One time Luke David was walking down our sidewalk, which is a long sidewalk, toward the house and actually a bigger male Golden Labrador Retriever came down to him, which scared him. This dog was large. I was in the kitchen and could see him through the door. He started screaming and it made the dog excited, and it seemed like he wanted to play with Luke David. Bella was inside and heard him scream. She ran to the door growling and going nuts. I opened the door and Luke David ran to me, but Bella ran out and lit into that dog by the neck dragging him up the hill and out of our yard. I never saw that dog again. I have to keep her in if the boys go throughout the neighborhood, because she mothers the boys and I am afraid she might hurt another dog if they get to close to them. We live in a friendly area and most pets get to rome, on occasion. So she just sits at the door and cries once they leave, and then waits on their return.
We always talk about how animals have their pecking order of a pack. We humans have the same thing. It might differ from community to community, meaning the order is different in different atmospheres, however I have learned it doesn't change much. The funny person typically is the funny person in any group they are apart of, same as the bossy one, the judgmental one, the Debbie downer one, etc...you get the picture. Hierarchy might change some but their role typically doesn't, and the only reason hierarchy changes is because of whatever is the most important value of the group. Funny might not be as important in a church as it is in a school, make sense? I typically do not pay much attention to pecking orders of groups. I am a disruptor. Anyone that knows me reading this will say, yep and give a laugh. It doesn't matter what group or atmosphere I am in that is what I do. It is never in a disrespectful way, but my place in the world is to stir things up. I never fit in conformity, and I challenge every atmosphere's typical norms that I am apart of. In a ultra Christian concervative world they call it, 'rebellious.' Why can't she just submit to the ways that are right? You know because there is always only one way. I have to laugh at those things/ statements, now. But not long ago, I let them keep me in chains of shame and guilt, because I thought something was wrong with me spiritually. I was created to be a shaker, stirrer not a sustainer in environments. I am created to challenge people to think maybe just a little differently about a situation, a person, view point, or belief system.
This past week I got to do just that, by not ever saying a word. You see because I am a person that challenges not everyone likes me to be close. Who wants to be challenged all the time? People come to me when they do or are ready for it. They will come for advice, for me to speak in tough situations, to lead when it is challenging, but on the daily, I am kept at arms length. I own it and as I have grown older understand it. I walked into a gymnasium this past week full of the small community I live in and where my boys go to school. We are not the cool family...once again I have to laugh because we really are a COOL family. However, we are not looked as that in the community. This is who we are in our mostly conservative Christian community, we are the only "OUT" couple. Oh and we really shake things up, because I have 2 boys from my first marriage. My ex-husband is one of my best-friends and his family loves my wife, and me still. My wife, is an extremely great cook, who does not meet a stranger, who is nice to everyone, and is very funny. It is really quite hilarious. Most people do not know what to do with us, because we do not fit their belief system. To add to it, I have coached most of the COOL kids in the community or are coaching them, taught them, and I am President of the local youth football league. We are not the family that gets invites, we are the family that challenges just with our mere presence. We really like and love people in our community. We also are huge advocates for children, strive for integrity, and try our best to be authentic. And guess what... We love Jesus. I think most like and love us, but we just get talked about because people don't know what to do with us.
However, as we walked into the packed gymnasium trying to figure out where to sit. As we sat down, I wondered what others were thinking, but quickly told my mind, "I do not care." Believe it or not, sometimes I have to coach myself in overwhelming and over stimulating situations. I decided to have my own sermon in my mind. I didn't talk much to those around me as of course my wife just chatted it up. My sermon went something like this, "Chana, sometimes you must choose if you are going to pick up a rock. People, all people deserve the stones. Jesus knew that because he said, 'Those with no sin among you cast the first stone.' Will you pick up a rock or will you not?" I was convinced in my mind people were staring at me and my wife wondering where we would sit. My presence showed those who sat around me that I will not pick up the rock. And in return, you know what they did? They didn't pick up the rock either, they invited us to Church. Imagine that? This same situation gave me opportunity to minister and uplift others who were struggling, but at the same time I got ministered to also. No matter the stones in others hands, we ALL have junk. We should walk with our heads high, say hello to all, be kind to all, and be fair. You will never change people's thoughts of your sins. You can never change things unless you infiltrate them.
Tuesday, December 12, 2017
"Idiot"
I have had a hurt arm for sometime now. Pinched nerve in my left elbow, which makes my fingers in my hand go numb. (All of them but my pinky.) I have almost grown use to it. I know that I should go see my doctors again, but I have a hard time finding the time. There isn't much wiggle room as mom, wife, teacher, coach, and president. Occasionally, I get friendships in there, but not nearly as much as I like. I know, I know all my choices. Those roles have all been my decisions. I love everyone of them. There are things that I have done to help relieve the numbness. Sometimes, I will take my meds. Sometimes, I will ice it. One time I saw a chiropractor. Sometimes, I will brace it. I now also sleep on the other side of the bed, because that helps. These things give me a little reprieve for a time, but it comes back. Guess what suffers when I am not consistent with what I should be doing...mom, wife, teacher, coach, and president. Occasionally, friendships.
Today, I almost fell as I tried to spare stepping on a head of a child. I caught myself by reaching out my arm on a child-size chair, which slid. I heard and felt my shoulder pull. As I walked out of it and away from it, I wanted to cry, cuss, and flip out. I haven't felt like that in a long time. Ohhh yes...and it's my right shoulder and arm. I want to scream, "Idiot!!" All my slander right at myself.
What's the life lesson in this? There isn't one. There are a million. However, right now I still just want to cuss, and scream idiot. I am far from perfect. I am far from "holier than thou." Yes, I shouldn't cuss, and scream idiot. And that there are Christians that will mutter under their breath, "Shame...Shame. Shouldn't she be.... shouldn't she look like... shouldn't she act like...." But where is the REALNESS in that? I picture in my mind that Eminem video, Will the real slim shady please stand up? These days I want to say, "Will the real Christians please stand up?" I am so over religious hogga-ballou or religious hogga-ballou people. Get over yourself. Or should I say, "Get real about yourself." Maybe that's the real heart change that religions seek and speak of... owning who you are...or just owning you need something outside of yourself, because you know who you are.
Bottom line, on any certain today, in any certain situations, every now, and again you might just need to cuss a little, and scream idiot to get you through the day. It doesn't make you less anything. It only makes you authentic.
Today, I almost fell as I tried to spare stepping on a head of a child. I caught myself by reaching out my arm on a child-size chair, which slid. I heard and felt my shoulder pull. As I walked out of it and away from it, I wanted to cry, cuss, and flip out. I haven't felt like that in a long time. Ohhh yes...and it's my right shoulder and arm. I want to scream, "Idiot!!" All my slander right at myself.
What's the life lesson in this? There isn't one. There are a million. However, right now I still just want to cuss, and scream idiot. I am far from perfect. I am far from "holier than thou." Yes, I shouldn't cuss, and scream idiot. And that there are Christians that will mutter under their breath, "Shame...Shame. Shouldn't she be.... shouldn't she look like... shouldn't she act like...." But where is the REALNESS in that? I picture in my mind that Eminem video, Will the real slim shady please stand up? These days I want to say, "Will the real Christians please stand up?" I am so over religious hogga-ballou or religious hogga-ballou people. Get over yourself. Or should I say, "Get real about yourself." Maybe that's the real heart change that religions seek and speak of... owning who you are...or just owning you need something outside of yourself, because you know who you are.
Bottom line, on any certain today, in any certain situations, every now, and again you might just need to cuss a little, and scream idiot to get you through the day. It doesn't make you less anything. It only makes you authentic.
Wednesday, December 6, 2017
"Let It Be"
Within the last couple of weeks I have been to two different funerals. It is always so hard at anytime of the year, but especially during the holidays. These past couple of funerals that I have spoken at, and attended, I have left them with different thoughts on life. It seems that through death the Almighty has things needing to be said in my spirit. Once again isn't it ironic that's how it always is...? Through death we learn about life. I have to chuckle, because we are some slow learning humans. One would think that we learn things through the experience of whatever it is, but that just is not the case. We learn about happiness through sadness. We learn joy through mourning. We learn about success when we fail. Then so it is we learn life, because of death.
The remembrance service today, was not a traditional one, nor was the man that it was honoring. The last song played was "Let It Be" by Paul McCartney. Whisper words of wisdom, let it be. My how I have struggled to let it be in life. Most of the time we hate the answer we get in life, so we do not let it be. I always say, "When someone or something shows who they are, or what they really are believe them." When you choose to believe something other than the truth shown, then we just are believing a lie. Authentic is hard to come by in this life. I love those who cross our paths that know their truth and live it. That they understand their own weakness and aspire to walk in their strengths. It is a life lesson we should all learn. Today, because of death I got to see real life...unfiltered, uncensored, unedited...life. It was precious and heartwarming it was to see.
It made me understand life is short, absorb it. Let it be. Let life consume you in all its aspects good and bad, because that is a life worth something. Whether life is short or long, quantity is not what this race should be about, but quality. How good is the quality of your life? Is it full of the 'what ifs' or 'daily rat race?' Today I want to speak words of wisdom far before my time, "LET IT BE." Absorb life. Let go. Let others live. Forgive others and forgive yourself. "LET IT BE," and enjoy every second you do.
The remembrance service today, was not a traditional one, nor was the man that it was honoring. The last song played was "Let It Be" by Paul McCartney. Whisper words of wisdom, let it be. My how I have struggled to let it be in life. Most of the time we hate the answer we get in life, so we do not let it be. I always say, "When someone or something shows who they are, or what they really are believe them." When you choose to believe something other than the truth shown, then we just are believing a lie. Authentic is hard to come by in this life. I love those who cross our paths that know their truth and live it. That they understand their own weakness and aspire to walk in their strengths. It is a life lesson we should all learn. Today, because of death I got to see real life...unfiltered, uncensored, unedited...life. It was precious and heartwarming it was to see.
It made me understand life is short, absorb it. Let it be. Let life consume you in all its aspects good and bad, because that is a life worth something. Whether life is short or long, quantity is not what this race should be about, but quality. How good is the quality of your life? Is it full of the 'what ifs' or 'daily rat race?' Today I want to speak words of wisdom far before my time, "LET IT BE." Absorb life. Let go. Let others live. Forgive others and forgive yourself. "LET IT BE," and enjoy every second you do.
Monday, December 4, 2017
"Tis the Season"
This weekend we (my family which consist of two boys 11 and 9 years old) got into a car conversation about Santa Claus. We had plenty of time as we drove for 3 hours home from our Christmas tree 'getting' trip. Before we even started our research, the 9 yr-old, said "I believe Santa Claus is Jesus." Interesting I thought. But we did what all good modern families do when we want to know something, we Googled it. What in the world did we ever do before Google? I can remember having Encyclopedia Britannica when I was the boys ages. I would lay in the living room floor when I wanted to know information looking through these massive books, and thinking how rich we were because my friends did not have those. We were not rich by any means, but it was one of the best buys my parents ever did for us. It is no secret that I cannot spell, and hardly ever use correct grammar, however I love to learn new information. I own my weaknesses, in moderation of course.
As we read our findings about Santa Claus on Google, it was interesting, because the stories actually were very similar to stories about Jesus. There is a woman who I adore who always would say, "People pray to the God of their understanding." I would think to myself in my box of a brain, "No" there is only one God, and be very defensive in my mind. What I have come to realize is what she was meaning, "Yes there is only one God, but people call God many different names." My mind to religious openness is very skewed. However, it is interesting that we project our thoughts of who Santa is like our thoughts of who God is to us. We create songs about. "Who is naughty or nice? Santa Claus is coming to town." Isn't that what we teach about Jesus? Good go to heaven. Good gets the gifts. And you better be good because we do not know the day or time he is coming. My 9 yr-old was right. We have made Santa like Jesus. "To the God of our understanding." Epic fail. Then when we learn Santa is not a 'real' person, we begin to talk about the Spirit of Christmas or the Spirit of Santa Claus.
How is it determined who is naughty or nice? I am sure others have multiple answers to that question; Whether it is a checklist, belief system, or both. God to you might be Jesus, Santa, Buddha, Yahweh, Allah, Creator or Created. Maybe just maybe the question of this season should not be, "Who is naughty or nice? But what is naughty or nice?" Now doesn't that change our perspective? It's not a person, but actions of others. This then changes how we treat people or allow others to be treated. "Tis the season." Why is it so hard for us just to be kind? Honest? Giving? Love? Hope? Have Faith? And why in the world do we wait for the Christmas Spirit, Advent Season, or whatever you want to call it, or believe in to be all those things? As if we need an excuse to be giving, and kind with all the attributes that go with it. However, "Tis the Season."
As we read our findings about Santa Claus on Google, it was interesting, because the stories actually were very similar to stories about Jesus. There is a woman who I adore who always would say, "People pray to the God of their understanding." I would think to myself in my box of a brain, "No" there is only one God, and be very defensive in my mind. What I have come to realize is what she was meaning, "Yes there is only one God, but people call God many different names." My mind to religious openness is very skewed. However, it is interesting that we project our thoughts of who Santa is like our thoughts of who God is to us. We create songs about. "Who is naughty or nice? Santa Claus is coming to town." Isn't that what we teach about Jesus? Good go to heaven. Good gets the gifts. And you better be good because we do not know the day or time he is coming. My 9 yr-old was right. We have made Santa like Jesus. "To the God of our understanding." Epic fail. Then when we learn Santa is not a 'real' person, we begin to talk about the Spirit of Christmas or the Spirit of Santa Claus.
How is it determined who is naughty or nice? I am sure others have multiple answers to that question; Whether it is a checklist, belief system, or both. God to you might be Jesus, Santa, Buddha, Yahweh, Allah, Creator or Created. Maybe just maybe the question of this season should not be, "Who is naughty or nice? But what is naughty or nice?" Now doesn't that change our perspective? It's not a person, but actions of others. This then changes how we treat people or allow others to be treated. "Tis the season." Why is it so hard for us just to be kind? Honest? Giving? Love? Hope? Have Faith? And why in the world do we wait for the Christmas Spirit, Advent Season, or whatever you want to call it, or believe in to be all those things? As if we need an excuse to be giving, and kind with all the attributes that go with it. However, "Tis the Season."
Tuesday, November 28, 2017
"Sand Drawing"
There is a fine line between showing mercy and fighting for justice. When is it that we show mercy or fight for justice? What are the situations when we choose mercy over fight for justice. We as individuals always hope we are at the end of a mercy decision, but yet we impose the fight for justice upon others, or just the fight, period.
There is a story about this very thing, mercy verses fight for justice. A woman did not follow the Mosaic law and was actually caught as we would say, "red handed" while breaking the law. It doesn't really matter what law was broken, however a group of people wanted to fight for justice. Justice said, "Stone Her!" They brought her to be judged by the ultimate judge. Surely, he will fight for justice? Right? The group gave all the reasons why justice should happen. He sat with no emotions drawing in the sand, listening. As the group had finished with their pleas, He stood up and profoundly made their accusations toward her relatable toward them. He made a connection in humanity, and showed mercy. Not just mercy to the woman, but mercy to the accusers also. Interesting, isn't?
My personality is instinctively to "Flip Tables/ Fight for Justice." Great quality, right? Most of the time I think so...actually I would say 98% of the time, I think so. (Bluntness is not a quality I lack.) Until I am "Flipping Tables," yet should be showing mercy, so that I too can receive mercy. Mercy means I have to reflect on why I too need it. Yuck!! It means I have to relate to another. It means I am not perfect. It means humanity is connected.
Remember the 98% of the time I think "Flipping Tables" is a great quality, I just realized what that really means is I need mercy 98% of the time. Ugh... I now will sit the table back down. Maybe the next time I feel the urge to grab a table, I will force myself to just start drawing in the sand.
There is a story about this very thing, mercy verses fight for justice. A woman did not follow the Mosaic law and was actually caught as we would say, "red handed" while breaking the law. It doesn't really matter what law was broken, however a group of people wanted to fight for justice. Justice said, "Stone Her!" They brought her to be judged by the ultimate judge. Surely, he will fight for justice? Right? The group gave all the reasons why justice should happen. He sat with no emotions drawing in the sand, listening. As the group had finished with their pleas, He stood up and profoundly made their accusations toward her relatable toward them. He made a connection in humanity, and showed mercy. Not just mercy to the woman, but mercy to the accusers also. Interesting, isn't?
My personality is instinctively to "Flip Tables/ Fight for Justice." Great quality, right? Most of the time I think so...actually I would say 98% of the time, I think so. (Bluntness is not a quality I lack.) Until I am "Flipping Tables," yet should be showing mercy, so that I too can receive mercy. Mercy means I have to reflect on why I too need it. Yuck!! It means I have to relate to another. It means I am not perfect. It means humanity is connected.
Remember the 98% of the time I think "Flipping Tables" is a great quality, I just realized what that really means is I need mercy 98% of the time. Ugh... I now will sit the table back down. Maybe the next time I feel the urge to grab a table, I will force myself to just start drawing in the sand.
Saturday, November 25, 2017
"Perplexed"
I have a bit of a confession. I like puzzles. I like the problem solving. I like trying to figure out the right piece, shape, numbers, or patterns. It is my nerd factor in my life. We got the boys a Perplexus game one year. If you have never seen one it's a ball with ramps, turns, and twists to get to point A to point B without dropping the little ball off of all the challenges. (Goggle it, then get one.) Biggest challenge in the whole game/ puzzle is yourself. Isn't that how it always is? You are the challenge. We give our what-about and what if statements, then we freeze. We stay in the same place with no movement when we are in a time and space of existence of constant movement.
Think about that for a minute. Nothing that has been created has non-movement. The earth continually moves without us even realizing it. Blood floods through our veins without us thinking about it. I could continue to go on, but you get the point. When things stop moving they die. Life has a rhythm to it. All life, all movement has a rhythm to it. People who succeed, no matter the success, do so because they do not stop solving the problems.
The 'devil' in the Bible belt gets a lot of credit for the mess-ups in life. Statements like," The devil made me do it. It is the devil at work in their life." That is very contrary to the actual word of God. I am not the devil's handy-work, never was. I never belonged to the devil. The Bible says, "The THIEF comes to steal, kill, and destroy." A thief takes what is not rightfully theirs. So how does a thief steal, kill, and destroy? Stops movement by uses yourself. Why? Because that the only way to get you out of rhythm of life...
Today, I listened to a minister say, "Stop praying for tables and chairs. That is not God's business, that's your business. God's business is I will give you the tree." I am learning waiting for the table and chairs has only created non-movement. Ouch, ouch... if I... if we... continue to wait on the table and chairs the next thing to come is death, non-movement, and no rhythm to what we have been created to be.
Think about that for a minute. Nothing that has been created has non-movement. The earth continually moves without us even realizing it. Blood floods through our veins without us thinking about it. I could continue to go on, but you get the point. When things stop moving they die. Life has a rhythm to it. All life, all movement has a rhythm to it. People who succeed, no matter the success, do so because they do not stop solving the problems.
The 'devil' in the Bible belt gets a lot of credit for the mess-ups in life. Statements like," The devil made me do it. It is the devil at work in their life." That is very contrary to the actual word of God. I am not the devil's handy-work, never was. I never belonged to the devil. The Bible says, "The THIEF comes to steal, kill, and destroy." A thief takes what is not rightfully theirs. So how does a thief steal, kill, and destroy? Stops movement by uses yourself. Why? Because that the only way to get you out of rhythm of life...
Today, I listened to a minister say, "Stop praying for tables and chairs. That is not God's business, that's your business. God's business is I will give you the tree." I am learning waiting for the table and chairs has only created non-movement. Ouch, ouch... if I... if we... continue to wait on the table and chairs the next thing to come is death, non-movement, and no rhythm to what we have been created to be.
Wednesday, November 22, 2017
"NO CHEAP GRACE"
Early mornings are always the quietest around the house. It is a great time to read or write. No one in this house is an earlier-bird like our new pup Charlee, however Luke David (my son) and myself definitely come in a close second. This morning I started reading The Boston Declaration. It is a declaration made by over 300 theologians to challenge the corruption of modern day Christianity.
As I read it, I seemingly started to get fired up. Yet, the house is so quiet. No one to preach to but my internal-self and Charlee, which is too busy with peanut butter and her kong. Whoever made that thing, thank you! In the article they quoted Mark 8:36, "What does it profit you to gain the whole world and lose your soul." Interesting scripture to use to denounce modern Christianity. The "WHOLE WORLD" has always been taught as all "sinfulness natures" here in the Bible belt. If you were to ask most in this area they would say "WHOLE WORLD" would mean to fit in what Christian calls sinners, and far from saints, or believers. "WHOLE WORLD" in these parts of the country look like this, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, other religions than Christianity, women, poor, those who struggle with addictions, and anyone of color other than white. Don't talk to them, socialize with them, or spend time with them, because they might just rub off on you like a virus. The only time you are around them is to talk Jesus-ese for them to be "Saved." Typically anyone that disagrees with that statement is White and especially White males. NEWS FLASH!!
In shouting agreement to The Boston Declaration, the Good News of the Gospel is radical inclusivity. Not to power over individuals or control them. Modern Christianity enables hate. Hate for people of color, other religions, other cultures, LGBTQ, sexism, and anyone that could be vulnerable in society. God so loved the world...which means everything in it. Foundation of Christianity is LOVE. If a belief system that is masked in hate, yet claims love, but does not produce love...my friends that is far from Jesus. My Grace was a costly one. It wasn't cheap. It is not just Grace that fits a certain, size, shape, or color. It is Grace for ALL that believe. I am part of the WHOSOEVER. I want to teach my boys, my family, and my community, that ALL people you encounter are part of the WHOSOEVER too. That's how we change the world, and that's how we denounce modern Christianity and replace it with Christ. THE GOOD NEWS. No cheap GRACE, nothing but the best has been given.
As I read it, I seemingly started to get fired up. Yet, the house is so quiet. No one to preach to but my internal-self and Charlee, which is too busy with peanut butter and her kong. Whoever made that thing, thank you! In the article they quoted Mark 8:36, "What does it profit you to gain the whole world and lose your soul." Interesting scripture to use to denounce modern Christianity. The "WHOLE WORLD" has always been taught as all "sinfulness natures" here in the Bible belt. If you were to ask most in this area they would say "WHOLE WORLD" would mean to fit in what Christian calls sinners, and far from saints, or believers. "WHOLE WORLD" in these parts of the country look like this, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, other religions than Christianity, women, poor, those who struggle with addictions, and anyone of color other than white. Don't talk to them, socialize with them, or spend time with them, because they might just rub off on you like a virus. The only time you are around them is to talk Jesus-ese for them to be "Saved." Typically anyone that disagrees with that statement is White and especially White males. NEWS FLASH!!
In shouting agreement to The Boston Declaration, the Good News of the Gospel is radical inclusivity. Not to power over individuals or control them. Modern Christianity enables hate. Hate for people of color, other religions, other cultures, LGBTQ, sexism, and anyone that could be vulnerable in society. God so loved the world...which means everything in it. Foundation of Christianity is LOVE. If a belief system that is masked in hate, yet claims love, but does not produce love...my friends that is far from Jesus. My Grace was a costly one. It wasn't cheap. It is not just Grace that fits a certain, size, shape, or color. It is Grace for ALL that believe. I am part of the WHOSOEVER. I want to teach my boys, my family, and my community, that ALL people you encounter are part of the WHOSOEVER too. That's how we change the world, and that's how we denounce modern Christianity and replace it with Christ. THE GOOD NEWS. No cheap GRACE, nothing but the best has been given.
Monday, November 20, 2017
"Walking Dead"
Yesterday I was at a funeral, it is never a pleasant thing to do, but we do it out of respect and love for the ones left behind. It is amazing to me the only difference in life and death is one breath, one heart beat. What a small difference? As I sat there on the platform, looking out to those who mourn, I thought to myself this is not quite fair. Here we all are stuck in life, while the loved one gets glorious death. Isn't that what it is? Isn't really what all "Christians" want? Death? To see Jesus? To see God? No one ever really fights for their death, but they fight for their life. We get plagued by cancers, tumors, strokes, heart-attackes, high blood pressure, diabetes, and then just plain ole' accidents. We fight.
I once watched a God-fearing lady, you know the 'let me just sit at your feet' kind, hear the news, "You will not walk again. You will lose your foot. You do not have much time left." Do you know it's been about 3 years, and she was kicked out of Hospice care, because she just would not die. She can move and has her feet. I watched as she got the news sing hymns about her Jesus. You can't help, but feel a little cheated. She was so close to that glorious death. However, she was chosen to be part of the "Walking Dead." It is not just a crazy show with great make-up artist.
I am learning more and more we humans have things so backwards and that we just miss it. Miss what? The whole point in and of our journeys. We put value on things that do not matter, and neglect what does. I am learning my instinct of original thought typically is contrary to how God views almost everything. I have been taught and pounded into my head the don'ts and dos, the good and the bad of behavior of Christianity, and quite frankly found most of it hypocrisy. I have watched Ministers use crafty manipulation for gains in money, clout, and reputation while neglecting forgiveness, confession, restoration all of which is the basis of Christianity. So we fight for life, not death. Death comes with forgiveness, confession, and restoration. No longer is the view set for my gain. Life is totally "MY and ME" statements, but the minute my choice, becomes death...I show mercy. I forgive. I confess wrongs. I seek restoration. I become among the "WALKING DEAD."
Whether it is in this life or the next, Death is what I seek. A glorious death. Now that's crazy talk, you say. You're right it is...but just like yesterday as I stood reading an obituary to those that were mourning. I realized the words I was reading were words of a glorious death which in-turn brought so much life. The loved one who passed was part of the "Walking Dead." Most did not even realize it, because our views are so contrary to God's views.
I once watched a God-fearing lady, you know the 'let me just sit at your feet' kind, hear the news, "You will not walk again. You will lose your foot. You do not have much time left." Do you know it's been about 3 years, and she was kicked out of Hospice care, because she just would not die. She can move and has her feet. I watched as she got the news sing hymns about her Jesus. You can't help, but feel a little cheated. She was so close to that glorious death. However, she was chosen to be part of the "Walking Dead." It is not just a crazy show with great make-up artist.
I am learning more and more we humans have things so backwards and that we just miss it. Miss what? The whole point in and of our journeys. We put value on things that do not matter, and neglect what does. I am learning my instinct of original thought typically is contrary to how God views almost everything. I have been taught and pounded into my head the don'ts and dos, the good and the bad of behavior of Christianity, and quite frankly found most of it hypocrisy. I have watched Ministers use crafty manipulation for gains in money, clout, and reputation while neglecting forgiveness, confession, restoration all of which is the basis of Christianity. So we fight for life, not death. Death comes with forgiveness, confession, and restoration. No longer is the view set for my gain. Life is totally "MY and ME" statements, but the minute my choice, becomes death...I show mercy. I forgive. I confess wrongs. I seek restoration. I become among the "WALKING DEAD."
Whether it is in this life or the next, Death is what I seek. A glorious death. Now that's crazy talk, you say. You're right it is...but just like yesterday as I stood reading an obituary to those that were mourning. I realized the words I was reading were words of a glorious death which in-turn brought so much life. The loved one who passed was part of the "Walking Dead." Most did not even realize it, because our views are so contrary to God's views.
Wednesday, November 15, 2017
"Good Neighbor"
Ok, so I am going to tell on myself. News flash, I do not like everyone. I have been told, and read however, I am suppose to. "Christians, followers of Jesus" are suppose to, but I don't. There are those that get on my nerves!! The ones that have no personal space that could count your nose hairs as they stand in front of you. The ones that have no inside voice that you run from when you see them coming. The ones who wear perfume that the smell could raise the dead. Those. Guilty!
I own it. Give me the homeless, give me the dirty, give me the poor, give me the sick, but I will run from the "Norm" crazies every time. "Love your neighbor, " I hear in my subconscious, but do I have to? I do not want to. What did Jesus do with these "Norm" crazies? He healed the sick. He gave to the poor. He gave community to those with no community. Where were the "Norm" crazies? Oh, that's right...He made them DISCIPLES. (Sigh)
I need a little more Mr. Rodger's in my life. "Won't you be my neighbor?" Or more State Farm, "Like a good neighbor State Farm is there." I must invest in others, not just serve others. Ouch. I might as well make it real. No sugar coating it. He is looking for me to show difference. Anyone can serve. Anyone can make a choice to do good things in service. I can hate the world, but pass out soup at the local pantry.
"Love your neighbor, as yourself." To be the Good Neighbor I must first love ME. "Love is patient, love is kind." Sometimes, I forget to just be the Good Neighbor to myself, so that I can tackle the "Norm" crazies. When I love me, it is easier to love them...Make me a disciple. Only the "Norm" crazies can be one.
Monday, November 13, 2017
"Not It"
It is funny in this life, we for some crazy reason believe we have it all figured out. We get so close to what we think is the destination, then suddenly change in direction, or maybe change in how we are traveling. "His ways are higher than my ways," Right? That's what I have been taught. That's what Isaiah said in the Bible. Who can argue with that? Certainly I do not want to, but I do. I do by my grumbling, I do by being unforgiving, I do in resentment, I do with bitterness, and I do by shooting poison right out of my mouth.
Who is in charge of this crazy journey, that at times tosses me this way and that? Well, I can give the expected answer of course, God. If I allow it. I am very much learning the tosses have typically absolutely nothing to do with God, and ALL to do with me. The struggle of the "toss" is me constantly looking out the window while on this journey of life, and whipping the wheel around and saying, "Let's go There!" Knowingly, it was never the intended destination. Then I get upset, hurt, angry, when God takes back control when I wanted my way, not His way. I see the destination, and it looks great from here. It is when God says, "We are going left." But I see a beach on the right. The beach is irresistible to me. Why make me pass the beach? You know how much I love it there!! So I whip the wheel and go to the beach. I put my feet in the sand and then jump into the ocean, loving every minute of it. Yet then I walk out of the water with a rash. A RASH are you kidding me!! As I walk off the beach, my head low, then I hear, "I know you love the beach but this is not the destination." There is only one Creator and I am not it.
Today, I am reminding myself continually, "NOT IT." Tag your, "IT" God. "NOT IT, I AM NOT IT."
Who is in charge of this crazy journey, that at times tosses me this way and that? Well, I can give the expected answer of course, God. If I allow it. I am very much learning the tosses have typically absolutely nothing to do with God, and ALL to do with me. The struggle of the "toss" is me constantly looking out the window while on this journey of life, and whipping the wheel around and saying, "Let's go There!" Knowingly, it was never the intended destination. Then I get upset, hurt, angry, when God takes back control when I wanted my way, not His way. I see the destination, and it looks great from here. It is when God says, "We are going left." But I see a beach on the right. The beach is irresistible to me. Why make me pass the beach? You know how much I love it there!! So I whip the wheel and go to the beach. I put my feet in the sand and then jump into the ocean, loving every minute of it. Yet then I walk out of the water with a rash. A RASH are you kidding me!! As I walk off the beach, my head low, then I hear, "I know you love the beach but this is not the destination." There is only one Creator and I am not it.
Today, I am reminding myself continually, "NOT IT." Tag your, "IT" God. "NOT IT, I AM NOT IT."
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