Have you ever wanted to scream, but when you go to open your mouth there is no sound? You slowly close your mouth knowing that the scream does not matter. The scream does not change the situation. The scream does not change your emotions. The scream doesn't fix a thing. It is just a scream. Interesting how we always say, the what ifs... If I ever had... If I had to deal with... If that was my child... If I were the coach... If that was my husband/wife... If, if, if... Yet, we find ourselves in the "What ifs" and there we are mouths open with no sound. Who is the scream for? You? Those around you? The situation? Or best option D. all the above?
I am writing today, because I have so many questions. What do you do when the "What ifs" become reality? How are you suppose to feel? Act? This is my dose of life at the moment. What ifs that become reality. In the last week, I am starting to understand the reality of the "What ifs." Here is what I know, I am loved more than I can even comprehend. People often say, "They are blessed." However, I am more than blessed. I am totally spoiled. I have people and resources at my disposal. They stretch at least 3 counties in West Virginia, not counting those across the country. I have had my fair share of broken relationships, valued people, rejection, validation, in want, have plenty... Not too extreme toward one way or another. I have experienced life and continue to do so. Nothing on this earth is permanent. What ifs are bound to happen.
I have watched people will and deal with the God of their understanding when the "What ifs" happen. Is that what you are suppose to do? Beg and plead? I use to do that in my younger spiritual walk, because I was taught that the "What ifs" are and were punishments. We as humans MUST blame someone or something for the "What ifs." Of course they cannot just be happenings of life. Sometimes, marriages end in divorce. Sometimes, we lose loved ones. Sometimes, we do not succeed. Sometimes, my kid just isn't in the cool group or the star. Sometimes, you do not get the job. Sometimes, you do not win. Sometimes, sickness happens. Who's fault is it? I don't know, but when you for sure find them and it... I too have some fingers to point. My only answer to combat the "What ifs" is to focus on the "Right nows." Consume my thoughts of things right in front of me. It is the only solution that I have found to drown the "What ifs" out.
Monday, September 17, 2018
Saturday, September 1, 2018
Owners and Renters
I want to try to take a minute to write. It is 4:30 a.m. No one woke me, but my own self. Seems like I haven't really gotten to talk to anyone in awhile. My daily schedule is work, pick-up boys, football, eat, and then repeat. In that time, much of my day is putting out fires. Whether it is at work, between the boys, or football. I walked downstairs to four crockpots of food cooking, and yes it is on purpose. It is football season. It is what happens in this house. I would venture to say I love football more than any other sport. I love it more than the sports I am great at playing or even the one's I have coached. Not sure why, but I do. I watch game film in slow motion of all our teams more than once a week. I have learned the game. Never played, other than in my backyard growing up. I love it so much that it does not bother me to stay at the field for hours. Today, is that day. Youth Football home games. Add pictures on-top of that, with a slice of drama no doubt.
I have a bone to pick. Working with 175 families in a season has shown me people have this sense of entitlement. That concept is so foreign to me. Over the years, I have watched it get worse. They take, push, fight because it seems they think they are owed something. Out of the 175 families, there is probably 1% of them that help, volunteer, and donate. Usually, that 1% do all three. Great example, out of 175 participates we received 35 cases of drinks donated. I am not harping though I hope to throw some guilt, but it is a great example of where we are in the world. This past week I have been bombarded with calls from families stating, "If I do not get this then we won't..." You can fill in the blanks.
I use to work for a woman that I still to this day believe, she is one of the smartest business minded humans beings I have ever met. She did not grow-up with the sense of entitlement. I have watched her work a room in many different aspects as she plans to only increase her business. She would calculate conversations and meetings. She taught me a lot of things about life. Still to this day I can call her and she would come if I needed her. Some of her many statements I will never forget.
"You are always replaceable. Someone in life will always want to be where you are now."
Then there was my favorite life lesson she tried to teach me. She happened to call me into her office one day, I am sure it was to scold me a little (typically, I needed it), but it ended in this lesson. She looked at me from across her desk and said, "Chana, there are renters and owners in life. You need to know the difference. Renters are people who do not care if they mess things up, because it is not theirs. They will leave dents and holes in walls. They will pull up carpet. There is no ownership in the messes they leave. Do not be a renter in anything you do. Be an owner in life value it all, claim it as yours, and surround yourself with others that do the same."
I talked to her yesterday on the phone. I needed her for something simple and she showed up to help just with her words of saying, "Sure you can use what I have." We do not speak like we once did or nearly as often as I would like, but as I hung up the phone I remembered the lesson. It then made sense to my week. It has been a week of dealing with 'RENTERS.' I cannot expect them to act like Owners when they are not. They want to rent and move on. I have also learned if someone wants to move on, let them. Maybe the next Renter really is an Owner, and the last Renter is just taking up space wreaking havoc for the future Owner to be. Owners are the 1% of all groups and organizations stay close to them and instead of patching the holes the Renters, just kick them out. New Renters will come, "You are always replaceable. Someone in life will always want to be where you are now."
I have a bone to pick. Working with 175 families in a season has shown me people have this sense of entitlement. That concept is so foreign to me. Over the years, I have watched it get worse. They take, push, fight because it seems they think they are owed something. Out of the 175 families, there is probably 1% of them that help, volunteer, and donate. Usually, that 1% do all three. Great example, out of 175 participates we received 35 cases of drinks donated. I am not harping though I hope to throw some guilt, but it is a great example of where we are in the world. This past week I have been bombarded with calls from families stating, "If I do not get this then we won't..." You can fill in the blanks.
I use to work for a woman that I still to this day believe, she is one of the smartest business minded humans beings I have ever met. She did not grow-up with the sense of entitlement. I have watched her work a room in many different aspects as she plans to only increase her business. She would calculate conversations and meetings. She taught me a lot of things about life. Still to this day I can call her and she would come if I needed her. Some of her many statements I will never forget.
"You are always replaceable. Someone in life will always want to be where you are now."
Then there was my favorite life lesson she tried to teach me. She happened to call me into her office one day, I am sure it was to scold me a little (typically, I needed it), but it ended in this lesson. She looked at me from across her desk and said, "Chana, there are renters and owners in life. You need to know the difference. Renters are people who do not care if they mess things up, because it is not theirs. They will leave dents and holes in walls. They will pull up carpet. There is no ownership in the messes they leave. Do not be a renter in anything you do. Be an owner in life value it all, claim it as yours, and surround yourself with others that do the same."
I talked to her yesterday on the phone. I needed her for something simple and she showed up to help just with her words of saying, "Sure you can use what I have." We do not speak like we once did or nearly as often as I would like, but as I hung up the phone I remembered the lesson. It then made sense to my week. It has been a week of dealing with 'RENTERS.' I cannot expect them to act like Owners when they are not. They want to rent and move on. I have also learned if someone wants to move on, let them. Maybe the next Renter really is an Owner, and the last Renter is just taking up space wreaking havoc for the future Owner to be. Owners are the 1% of all groups and organizations stay close to them and instead of patching the holes the Renters, just kick them out. New Renters will come, "You are always replaceable. Someone in life will always want to be where you are now."
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