Right Now

Have you ever wanted to scream, but when you go to open your mouth there is no sound?  You slowly close your mouth knowing that the scream does not matter.  The scream does not change the situation.  The scream does not change your emotions.  The scream doesn't fix a thing.  It is just a scream.  Interesting how we always say, the what ifs... If I ever had... If I had to deal with... If that was my child... If I were the coach...  If that was my husband/wife... If, if, if...  Yet, we find ourselves in the "What ifs" and there we are mouths open with no sound.  Who is the scream for?  You? Those around you? The situation?  Or best option D. all the above?

I am writing today, because I have so many questions.  What do you do when the "What ifs" become reality?  How are you suppose to feel?  Act?  This is my dose of life at the moment.  What ifs that become reality.  In the last week,  I am starting to understand the reality of the "What ifs."  Here is what I know,  I am loved more than I can even comprehend.  People often say, "They are blessed."  However, I am more than blessed.  I am totally spoiled.  I have people and resources at my disposal.  They stretch at least 3 counties in West Virginia, not counting those across the country.  I have had my fair share of broken relationships, valued people, rejection, validation, in want, have plenty... Not too extreme toward one way or another.  I have experienced life and continue to do so.  Nothing on this earth is permanent.  What ifs are bound to happen.

I have watched people will and deal with the God of their understanding when the "What ifs" happen.  Is that what you are suppose to do?  Beg and plead?  I use to do that in my younger spiritual walk, because I was taught that the "What ifs" are and were punishments.  We as humans MUST blame someone or something for the "What ifs."  Of course they cannot just be happenings of life.  Sometimes, marriages end in divorce.  Sometimes, we lose loved ones.  Sometimes, we do not succeed.  Sometimes, my kid just isn't in the cool group or the star.  Sometimes, you do not get the job.  Sometimes, you do not win.  Sometimes, sickness happens.  Who's fault is it?  I don't know, but when you for sure find them and it... I too have some fingers to point.  My only answer to combat the "What ifs" is to focus on the "Right nows."  Consume my thoughts of things right in front of me.  It is the only solution that I have found to drown the "What ifs" out.