Today, I traveled into a storm system. I experienced winds, rain, sleet, ice and snow. I knew driving would be difficult. It stresses my dad out when I travel, especially if I do while it is storming. I am a daddy's girl, but he also works in a field where he has seen many fatalities. I am almost 38-yrs-old, actually in 4 days I will be, happily married, have a home, good job, mother of two, but I will assure you once I am on the road three hours later I will call my dad. "Dad, I made it safe, and I love you."
Lately, I have had friends go through some storms. Now there are different levels of storms, but storms nonetheless are storms. All storm systems react and feel different depending on location, but it still can be the same system. People might receive only high winds, while others might experience whole towns underwater. The definition of storm is a violent disturbance in the atmosphere or tumultuous reaction. One might wonder why do we have them. Without the storms things could not grow, change, or be exposed. It seems the more we challenge the storm the more violent it becomes in our lives. I am gathering in my experience that we are at the mercy of the storms. I cannot change weather patterns, and I cannot change storms that I might encounter in my life. How I deal with them is the key... Do the floods create destruction or can I see the rebuilding needed? Do I let the wind blow electrical lines down, and sit without power, or do I go buy a generator? There are times we get so emotionally wrapped up in the storms that we create an atmosphere that changes the landscape, which influences the storms we endure. It is much like mountain ranges, jet streams, and costal winds.
While traveling through the storm, I realized my focused changed. It changed from singing songs from the top of my lungs to, what is the temperature now, as rain turned to ice. Thoughts of my boys came to my mind while driving. "Wonder if they are ok in this storm? Be safe Chana. Concentrate Chana. Just keep going. Watch the road. Dad will kill me if I wreck. I do not want to tell him if I do. Oh, here comes a Semi. Just be safe, stay alert." Over and over my thoughts went. I realized I had the drive to push through it and felt somewhat safe in my Chevy Truck. We had multiple family members traveling in the storm to reach the same destination. However, a family that was traveling had to stop an hour away from our destination, because they did not have a four wheel drive vehicle. It is a new vehicle and even made by the same company as my truck, but no four wheel drive. It was safer for them to stop.
It is imperative to understand the vehicle your traveling in while going through a storm. It keeps you safe. It keeps you moving. Can it handle the weather? Know the weakness of when to stop, when to go, and when to just park it. Through it all, my understanding is know how dependable your vehicle will be to weather the storms actually, not the storm itself. Its whole purpose is movement from point A to B. And at the end of the storm you can say, "Dad, I made it safe, and I love you."
Saturday, January 13, 2018
Sunday, January 7, 2018
"Not Die, But Live"
Have you ever been in a situation and you do not know what to do? How to act? What should my response be? Around death I am like that. In a couple of days I will be in another funeral situation. This time I will not be looked at as a minister, but as family. I am not good at these things. People expect me to be, but I am not. That doesn't mean I do not hold it together, or say wrong things. I typically do not say much of anything. There is a reason for that...I understand there is nothing anyone can say or do to help grief of lose. Nothing. It is best I just listen. You hear things like they are in a better place, which most would mean heaven, but that also means being with us is terrible. You can hear they are at peace now, are they? Dead means peace? Why do we do that? Why do we create these sayings? Is it to make us feel better or is it truth? I try not to say things like that, because I am not the judge of one's heart.
I have been around the funeral business and even education of morticians. It is actually intriguing, the science and history of it all. Most of our practices of the preparation and services of the dead stem around the church. Imagine that? The church even controlled the history of the funeral business. I do not know the actual process of what happens when we take our last breath. It also makes me question anyone that says that they do. It is one of the unknowns of life. Now that also does not mean that I do not have a belief in what I think happens either. My belief system is not because I have researched it scripturally, or experienced it naturally. However scripturally, maybe a little. But there is not much on the subject. I would venture to say that is why there is so many variations of beliefs in the after-life. It would also seem to make me question spirituality that focuses more on after-life than life. Do I live for the unknown or do I make the most of what I know. Should I not focus on being kind, loving, giving, hopeful, and joyous now? And to all people? That would make sense to me. But who am I? I believe I am part of a royal priesthood and chosen people to speak and live such things. But once again that is up to individual belief systems.
If your thoughts and beliefs of the after-life did not happen, what harm is created by kindness, love, giving, hope, and joy to others in life today? Is your belief of after-life based on who you should and should not be those things to? If so that is very shallow belief system. If your statement is I must, "Love the sinner, hate the sin." I will say it again, "Your belief system is shallow." I will farther challenge that statement and say, IT IS NOT IN THE BIBLE. Are we not all sinners? Is it not written we have all fallen short of the glory of God? Then one must go back to, what is sin? The scriptural definition to sin is, "To know to do right and do it not." Let's measure that out a bit.
Is it right to alienate another human-being? Is it right to judge others? Is it right not to love others? Almost everyone would say, "No." However, lets get real. We fight inclusion of ALL everyday in this country, just turn on the news. Let's bring it home, where it is real. Do we do it in our families? Do we do it in our communities? I am going to recall a painful story. I am sure my family will not be pleased by what I write, but in my writing I hope others feel they are not alone, and it brings about hope and peace for them.
I was in a salon one day and a lady went to the same church as a family member. My family member had been with this person in the altar area praying about salvation. When my family member began to talk about sin and that we all have junk. My family member didn't talk about their own junk, but what they perceived is my junk. The statement went something like this, " We all have stuff, you see I have a lesbian in my family." Now I must laugh at the whole thing, because I see how shallow a belief system of my family member is and was. (Love the sinner, hate the sin.) I would also like to emphasize I have no relationship with this person anymore because of my 'sin.' Which what they call sin, I call me. It took me a long time to find and understand me because of the church, not because of God, but the church. Those who are the holier Christians than the real Christians. I know, Ouch.
Years ago, a man who poured into me spiritually, he would always say, "You could be bitter or better." I understand what better now means. I show mercy, love, kindness, to those that even do not show it to me. I include when I have been isolated. Why? Because no matter what I believe happens in the after-life, I live for today. For if I do what I know is right today, it would seem that the after-life will work itself out. I should be focusing on being kind, loving, giving, merciful, hopeful and joyous. Believing in the Character of Christ so that I may not die, but live. For if I don't that, it would be considered sin to me, and I do not want to answer for others lack of character, but for the character created in me.
I have been around the funeral business and even education of morticians. It is actually intriguing, the science and history of it all. Most of our practices of the preparation and services of the dead stem around the church. Imagine that? The church even controlled the history of the funeral business. I do not know the actual process of what happens when we take our last breath. It also makes me question anyone that says that they do. It is one of the unknowns of life. Now that also does not mean that I do not have a belief in what I think happens either. My belief system is not because I have researched it scripturally, or experienced it naturally. However scripturally, maybe a little. But there is not much on the subject. I would venture to say that is why there is so many variations of beliefs in the after-life. It would also seem to make me question spirituality that focuses more on after-life than life. Do I live for the unknown or do I make the most of what I know. Should I not focus on being kind, loving, giving, hopeful, and joyous now? And to all people? That would make sense to me. But who am I? I believe I am part of a royal priesthood and chosen people to speak and live such things. But once again that is up to individual belief systems.
If your thoughts and beliefs of the after-life did not happen, what harm is created by kindness, love, giving, hope, and joy to others in life today? Is your belief of after-life based on who you should and should not be those things to? If so that is very shallow belief system. If your statement is I must, "Love the sinner, hate the sin." I will say it again, "Your belief system is shallow." I will farther challenge that statement and say, IT IS NOT IN THE BIBLE. Are we not all sinners? Is it not written we have all fallen short of the glory of God? Then one must go back to, what is sin? The scriptural definition to sin is, "To know to do right and do it not." Let's measure that out a bit.
Is it right to alienate another human-being? Is it right to judge others? Is it right not to love others? Almost everyone would say, "No." However, lets get real. We fight inclusion of ALL everyday in this country, just turn on the news. Let's bring it home, where it is real. Do we do it in our families? Do we do it in our communities? I am going to recall a painful story. I am sure my family will not be pleased by what I write, but in my writing I hope others feel they are not alone, and it brings about hope and peace for them.
I was in a salon one day and a lady went to the same church as a family member. My family member had been with this person in the altar area praying about salvation. When my family member began to talk about sin and that we all have junk. My family member didn't talk about their own junk, but what they perceived is my junk. The statement went something like this, " We all have stuff, you see I have a lesbian in my family." Now I must laugh at the whole thing, because I see how shallow a belief system of my family member is and was. (Love the sinner, hate the sin.) I would also like to emphasize I have no relationship with this person anymore because of my 'sin.' Which what they call sin, I call me. It took me a long time to find and understand me because of the church, not because of God, but the church. Those who are the holier Christians than the real Christians. I know, Ouch.
Years ago, a man who poured into me spiritually, he would always say, "You could be bitter or better." I understand what better now means. I show mercy, love, kindness, to those that even do not show it to me. I include when I have been isolated. Why? Because no matter what I believe happens in the after-life, I live for today. For if I do what I know is right today, it would seem that the after-life will work itself out. I should be focusing on being kind, loving, giving, merciful, hopeful and joyous. Believing in the Character of Christ so that I may not die, but live. For if I don't that, it would be considered sin to me, and I do not want to answer for others lack of character, but for the character created in me.
Friday, January 5, 2018
"Connect the Dots"
Have you ever walked into a room, and forget why you walked in there? Or have you ever call out to your children, spouse, someone in the house, and forget what you were going to say or ask of them? Those things drive me nuts when I do them. I have notice the older I get the more I do them. I use to also make fun of women that said, "They lost their brains after giving birth to their children." However, it is really a thing. Trust me. Seems like my memory was sucked right out of me by two measly 6 lb. boys. Once you get to the room you stand there for a second, still can't remember you just move on to something in that room. My favorite is when I walk back to where I was, and still try to remember, then shake my head at myself.
Every now again, I reflect on 'my story.' As I reflect, in my mind I think, I do not want to ever forget that. I am realizing that most of us think and remember in bullets. You know, like a history timeline. We do not remember much of the in-between just the bullet points. Why is that? What makes the bullets so important to us? Our memory bullets are changes good or bad of direction in our lives. Something that you can say, "Change happened here." But what about the in-between? Do we just forget about it? Do we ever learn from it, or are we just jumping from dot to dot of the imprints of our lives? Interesting thought isn't it?
I can accurately state, in-between my bullets, my dots, the line is not straight. My line would look more like a mountain range. Maybe that's why we like to forget about the in-betweens. It is the in-betweens that make the bullets. It reminds me of playing sports. The player with the assist typically never gets the glory. It is always the one making the points. I was not that kind of player. I always wanted to help make the team look good, not just me. I was a setter in volleyball. Now I could hit, but leading as a setter you have more control of the game. You are the glue of the team. Same in basketball, good passes, rebounds, defense, creates opportunities. I loved creating opportunities. I am the how did I get there girl.
Some might focus on the bullets of life, but I want to know how that even occurred. How did I get where I am today, when all the odds were against me? What created the shifts in life? I wonder at the end of life, and I meet my Maker are the bullets that stand out to me going to be the same as the Makers? Probably not. I would venture to say my Maker cares about the line in-between the dots. The end result is never the focus, but the journey of the in-between. That is what creates heart, and character. It is never if I feed the hungry, clothed the poor, or give to those in need, however it is always the journey of my heart to get me to that point.
My daily reading today came from the book of Genesis. Chapter 18:14 says, "Is nothing too hard for the Lord?" Of course I would say, "No!" But do I believe that? We pray for all kinds of things, but maybe it is not the fact that the prayers get answered. Maybe it is what happens as we pray (the line in-between the dots). Don't get me wrong, answered prayers are special. The answer never changes me. It is just the conclusion of a situation. It is the ending point and beginning point (the dot). Next time when I feel the need to reflect on 'my story,' or even tell my story I shouldn't highlight or try to remember the bullet points. Just maybe I should understand my lines of how I got there, because that is actually where real change happens.
Every now again, I reflect on 'my story.' As I reflect, in my mind I think, I do not want to ever forget that. I am realizing that most of us think and remember in bullets. You know, like a history timeline. We do not remember much of the in-between just the bullet points. Why is that? What makes the bullets so important to us? Our memory bullets are changes good or bad of direction in our lives. Something that you can say, "Change happened here." But what about the in-between? Do we just forget about it? Do we ever learn from it, or are we just jumping from dot to dot of the imprints of our lives? Interesting thought isn't it?
I can accurately state, in-between my bullets, my dots, the line is not straight. My line would look more like a mountain range. Maybe that's why we like to forget about the in-betweens. It is the in-betweens that make the bullets. It reminds me of playing sports. The player with the assist typically never gets the glory. It is always the one making the points. I was not that kind of player. I always wanted to help make the team look good, not just me. I was a setter in volleyball. Now I could hit, but leading as a setter you have more control of the game. You are the glue of the team. Same in basketball, good passes, rebounds, defense, creates opportunities. I loved creating opportunities. I am the how did I get there girl.
Some might focus on the bullets of life, but I want to know how that even occurred. How did I get where I am today, when all the odds were against me? What created the shifts in life? I wonder at the end of life, and I meet my Maker are the bullets that stand out to me going to be the same as the Makers? Probably not. I would venture to say my Maker cares about the line in-between the dots. The end result is never the focus, but the journey of the in-between. That is what creates heart, and character. It is never if I feed the hungry, clothed the poor, or give to those in need, however it is always the journey of my heart to get me to that point.
My daily reading today came from the book of Genesis. Chapter 18:14 says, "Is nothing too hard for the Lord?" Of course I would say, "No!" But do I believe that? We pray for all kinds of things, but maybe it is not the fact that the prayers get answered. Maybe it is what happens as we pray (the line in-between the dots). Don't get me wrong, answered prayers are special. The answer never changes me. It is just the conclusion of a situation. It is the ending point and beginning point (the dot). Next time when I feel the need to reflect on 'my story,' or even tell my story I shouldn't highlight or try to remember the bullet points. Just maybe I should understand my lines of how I got there, because that is actually where real change happens.
Wednesday, January 3, 2018
"Pass the Basket"
What a glorious day! I could say it is because I woke up this morning, or Charlee (the puppy) slept till 7 a.m. Not that those things are not glorious. But I will be honest, it is not for any of those reasons. It is not because the sun came up, or all the many sometimes overlooked blessings that I have. It is however, because the boys go back to school, Tandy has to go to work a little, and I get the house to myself. Quiet and calm is what I am going for today. It is 2018 and work for me does not start until January 4th. It is like a blanket of wonderful. I must be cautious not to gloat too much, or I will for sure have a to-do list; Which will hamper on me sitting downstairs by the fire in the oversized chair reading a book.
Last night we had a few people over from the community, that I would consider friends. We decided to show our appreciation to them for all they do within the community, and for especially their giving to the youth in our community. I believe it is very important to show appreciation to those that give. I know, I know the Bible says, "To be a cheerful giver." I know that is what we should do. Give cheerfully never wanting anything in return. These people are those people, but I will tell you it is always nice to show how grateful you are when the giver gives, and you receive just as cheerful as they gave.
I will say one of our biggest wrestles in this house is this very thing...giving and receiving. One of my roles in this house is worrying. I get to figure out the bills and what we can and cannot do. When can we go on vacation, or take an extra trip? (Remember those things are my natural Heaven.) I very much look forward to my feet in the sand every year. However, the other 360 days, maybe 350 days, of the year I get to contend with the most hospitable giver I have ever met, Tandance Jo. It truly is a gift from God. For her it is effortless. It does not matter where we go, you will find a swarm of people around her, and she will being giving something to them. It could be a laugh, food, drinks, or just a needed feel good moment. Nevertheless, people will flock to her. With this God given gift, comes sacrifice. You would think that it wouldn't but it does. I am learning with all gifts those around you typically sacrifice the most as you pour out your purpose in life. Her gift challenges me almost everyday.
My role once again is worrying. I get the who, what, when, where, and hows of the business side of life. We are not wealthy by any means, however, I can say we are blessed. We are blessed because in my worry, I have a person who understands a principle that is hard for me to grasp. "I was young, and now I am old, but I have never seen good people left helpless or their children begging for food."(Ps 37:15) Now if you were to ask Tandy what scripture she is living by, she would crack up in your face. For she will not quote scripture at you. She will however give you a principle, "If I continually give, I know I will always be taken care of." I can say, "We have only $5" and her response, "It will be fine." But someone has to worry, right?
As I look back on 2017, and the many lessons that I needed to learn one sticks out the most. "For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways." (Ps. 91:11) Does all mean ALL? I believe it does, however I can tell you that I put limits on it. I am learning more and more, that God typically is not in the church house. I am not saying people should not go to church. However, the abundance of his character is not found there. Last night in my house I got to see and experience the presence of the Lord. As I looked around my table, people were carefree. There was a no judgement zone. It was not a bunch that you would think would be sitting together. All very different individuals. There were professionals with degrees, blue collar workers, business minded people, social service people, older, younger, no one represented the same social notch in life. Yet, as laughter filled the air, and actually love for others was present, I realized it was a gift from God that it was all possible. Jesus is not in the do's and don'ts of life. Church folks always get caught up in giving church jargon and miss the point. What I realized last night was the actual meaning of "Where two or three are gathering in my name..." You see I carry His name so no matter where I am gathered...there He will be. Why do I enjoy some of my closest friends? It is because it is where two or three are gathered... Why did last night seem so great.... it is because it was where two or three were gathered.
In 2016 and 2017, I was standing behind a pulpit almost every Sunday. I knew nothing, but how to submit to what the Lord wanted me to say. I would be humble, and God would honor it by His anointing. It was for and to a people that needed whatever the message was... it was hard for some to swallow, even though I knew that, I would try to be as obedient as possible. In that time God honored my obedience. I would not compromise integrity to achieve men or women's approval. It seemed in the church atmosphere he used me to shake things up. Church during those times were a baring of my soul and spirit before a group of people as I was being used as a mouthpiece. It was an experience that I would long for from Sunday to Sunday, wondering what God would have me do next. I never thought my next would be not in that place, but here I am. Here I am, as at least once a week I get to experience the real character of Christ around my table. I get to experience, "Where two or three are gathered in my name there I am in the midst." His real presence never comes by the way we think that it should. His growing or molding us never comes by the way we think that it should either. The character of Christ is being shown and taught to me by the ways of card games, board games, coaching, leading youth, delicious meals, tasting drinks, and much laughter. At this time I am not behind the pulpit, and I do not know if I ever will be again. Nonetheless, I am living the pulpit and not just standing behind it.
I have not realized until today I am living a "feed the 5,000" experience. Tandance Jo is saying, "Bring the baskets of whatever we have." And I am understanding the multitude will be wherever God sends me. It seems it is in the most unlikely places...basketball courts, football fields, community meetings, special needs classrooms, funerals, but especially around our table. All the while I hear the still small voice, "But your are a chosen people...God's own people in order that you may proclaim the mighty acts of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light." I can attest if church is not your thing, or even if it is, around 7:00 p.m. every night the presence of God shows up at our house around our table, because it is where two or three are gathered in his name. If you happen to show up Tandy will tell me, "Get the basket." I assure you, that you will leave full whether it is from food, love, laughter, or all the above. You are welcomed here. It is a no judgement, carefree zone, with the molding of the character of Christ.
Last night we had a few people over from the community, that I would consider friends. We decided to show our appreciation to them for all they do within the community, and for especially their giving to the youth in our community. I believe it is very important to show appreciation to those that give. I know, I know the Bible says, "To be a cheerful giver." I know that is what we should do. Give cheerfully never wanting anything in return. These people are those people, but I will tell you it is always nice to show how grateful you are when the giver gives, and you receive just as cheerful as they gave.
I will say one of our biggest wrestles in this house is this very thing...giving and receiving. One of my roles in this house is worrying. I get to figure out the bills and what we can and cannot do. When can we go on vacation, or take an extra trip? (Remember those things are my natural Heaven.) I very much look forward to my feet in the sand every year. However, the other 360 days, maybe 350 days, of the year I get to contend with the most hospitable giver I have ever met, Tandance Jo. It truly is a gift from God. For her it is effortless. It does not matter where we go, you will find a swarm of people around her, and she will being giving something to them. It could be a laugh, food, drinks, or just a needed feel good moment. Nevertheless, people will flock to her. With this God given gift, comes sacrifice. You would think that it wouldn't but it does. I am learning with all gifts those around you typically sacrifice the most as you pour out your purpose in life. Her gift challenges me almost everyday.
My role once again is worrying. I get the who, what, when, where, and hows of the business side of life. We are not wealthy by any means, however, I can say we are blessed. We are blessed because in my worry, I have a person who understands a principle that is hard for me to grasp. "I was young, and now I am old, but I have never seen good people left helpless or their children begging for food."(Ps 37:15) Now if you were to ask Tandy what scripture she is living by, she would crack up in your face. For she will not quote scripture at you. She will however give you a principle, "If I continually give, I know I will always be taken care of." I can say, "We have only $5" and her response, "It will be fine." But someone has to worry, right?
As I look back on 2017, and the many lessons that I needed to learn one sticks out the most. "For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways." (Ps. 91:11) Does all mean ALL? I believe it does, however I can tell you that I put limits on it. I am learning more and more, that God typically is not in the church house. I am not saying people should not go to church. However, the abundance of his character is not found there. Last night in my house I got to see and experience the presence of the Lord. As I looked around my table, people were carefree. There was a no judgement zone. It was not a bunch that you would think would be sitting together. All very different individuals. There were professionals with degrees, blue collar workers, business minded people, social service people, older, younger, no one represented the same social notch in life. Yet, as laughter filled the air, and actually love for others was present, I realized it was a gift from God that it was all possible. Jesus is not in the do's and don'ts of life. Church folks always get caught up in giving church jargon and miss the point. What I realized last night was the actual meaning of "Where two or three are gathering in my name..." You see I carry His name so no matter where I am gathered...there He will be. Why do I enjoy some of my closest friends? It is because it is where two or three are gathered... Why did last night seem so great.... it is because it was where two or three were gathered.
In 2016 and 2017, I was standing behind a pulpit almost every Sunday. I knew nothing, but how to submit to what the Lord wanted me to say. I would be humble, and God would honor it by His anointing. It was for and to a people that needed whatever the message was... it was hard for some to swallow, even though I knew that, I would try to be as obedient as possible. In that time God honored my obedience. I would not compromise integrity to achieve men or women's approval. It seemed in the church atmosphere he used me to shake things up. Church during those times were a baring of my soul and spirit before a group of people as I was being used as a mouthpiece. It was an experience that I would long for from Sunday to Sunday, wondering what God would have me do next. I never thought my next would be not in that place, but here I am. Here I am, as at least once a week I get to experience the real character of Christ around my table. I get to experience, "Where two or three are gathered in my name there I am in the midst." His real presence never comes by the way we think that it should. His growing or molding us never comes by the way we think that it should either. The character of Christ is being shown and taught to me by the ways of card games, board games, coaching, leading youth, delicious meals, tasting drinks, and much laughter. At this time I am not behind the pulpit, and I do not know if I ever will be again. Nonetheless, I am living the pulpit and not just standing behind it.
I have not realized until today I am living a "feed the 5,000" experience. Tandance Jo is saying, "Bring the baskets of whatever we have." And I am understanding the multitude will be wherever God sends me. It seems it is in the most unlikely places...basketball courts, football fields, community meetings, special needs classrooms, funerals, but especially around our table. All the while I hear the still small voice, "But your are a chosen people...God's own people in order that you may proclaim the mighty acts of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light." I can attest if church is not your thing, or even if it is, around 7:00 p.m. every night the presence of God shows up at our house around our table, because it is where two or three are gathered in his name. If you happen to show up Tandy will tell me, "Get the basket." I assure you, that you will leave full whether it is from food, love, laughter, or all the above. You are welcomed here. It is a no judgement, carefree zone, with the molding of the character of Christ.
Saturday, December 30, 2017
"Heaven"
It is December 30th, 2017 and I got to sleep in until 6:40 a.m. It doesn't seem much different than 5:30 a.m. but to me it is Heaven. One of my favorite songs is Heaven By Sir the Baptist. Now don't rush out to buy it, because it might not be your thing. It is risky social justice music with the hint of spiritual realness and some might call it "Hip Hop." Sir the Baptist actually calls his own genre of music when asked, "Church Pub Rap." Seems like an oxymoron, doesn't it? Which is probably why I really like it.
I love this song. I could listen to it for hours, actually his whole album, Sinner or Saint. However, this particular song even the boys know. When it comes on we all start dancing and singing. You will hear little boy voices busting out at the chorus, "Feels like Heaven." The basis of the song is that everyone's Heaven is different, whether it be in the natural or in the spiritual. See my Heaven was 6:40 a.m. this morning. For others it is for another time, or reason, but everyone searches for a somewhat of a natural Heaven just as much as a spiritual Heaven. It is a time and place that we say, "This is wonderful. Or that when we say it doesn't get any better than this_______." My natural Heaven is usually quiet. And for me that too is an oxymoron. I find it when no one is home and every animal is sleeping. I find it sitting on a beach just watching the ocean, while no one talks. I find it at a cabin, while sitting in a hot tub outside by myself looking at nature. My natural Heavens center me, speak to me, calms me, and refreshes me. I wonder why that is? I am sure there are scientific reasons for it, and also spiritual reasons for it.
There are powerful statements throughout the song that challenges my spiritual thinking with the natural. I hope they do you the same as you read. Everyone wants a Heaven, whether you get it from the drug lord or the good Lord. Everyone wants a taste of Heaven. I was told once by someone who works with Peace and Social Justice issues on a daily basis, "Everyone is their best they can be in that moment. No one in life is saying to themselves I am going to give my worse." I use to struggle with that statement, because it conflicted with my spiritual gauge of right and wrong. I am not going to say that I do not still struggle a little with that statement, because I have built a fort of spiritual beliefs that have been taught to me as truths instead of me experiencing truth. Then yes I could get into a faith debate within myself.
In Appalachia we have a culture different than other parts of the country, whether people want to believe it or not. We see God differently and teach God differently. Faith is grown from a Man, typically, behind a pulpit. That Man, wouldn't do or say anything contrary to what God would want or says, right? Questioning those words would mean you are questioning or we would say 'sinning' against God in this area. So people in Appalachia mostly regurgitate what they hear from a pulpit, and say it is God and claim faith to it. It is very cult like, actually. In Appalachia we are not divided as Christian or non-Christian. We are are divided more by denomination, which determines whether you are Christian or non-Christian. People do not ask you about your Christianity, but more where you go to church, which will determine your Christianity...Baptist seems to be the most holy (at least in my family), Nazarenes are close, Methodist are close, Presbyterians are close, Pentecostals (now thats just too far), Church of Christ (only ones going to Heaven), Disciples of Christ, United Church of Christ, or Unitarians let anyone and anything (definitely not Christians), and same with Jewish, Catholics, Muslims, or Greek Orthotics definitely not. If people from my area are reading at first there will not be agreement to my statements, because also in Appalachia we pride ourselves on hospitality to all people. However, we mask it by stating our religious belief system to hide our prejudices. I know that's harsh. But I will give an illustration of how we do it... "You know Mary Smith that lives on Main Street? No. Oh yes you do. The lady that goes to the Catholic church." Not only do we divide ourselves by denomination, but in Appalachia we divide ourselves by denomination and color (mind you in Appalachia also their is only black and white, anyone of color other than white is black).... the black baptist church, the black spirit filled church...we still typically throughout areas of our cities are very segregated in where we live, churches, and even in schools. Needless to say, our Heavens look different in the natural and the spiritual.
I believe where we miss it the most in life is we do not look at people's hearts, but instead judge others by what they perceive or need for their natural Heaven. Whether it is drugs, glass of wine, a beer, home, success, sports, relationship, a beach, religion, church, songs, we strive for our Heaven in the natural and in the spiritual. We try to put in our spiritual Heavens into words that try to articulate greatness, or the most wonderful things on earth... pearly gates, streets of gold, mansions, or 100 virgins...then when we struggle with any of those things descriptions so we say Heaven is the presence of God... I can tell you I struggle with articulating spiritual Heaven because I have never been there, and the only person who described what it looked like to us a human beings was John. (I say that from the Bible's perspective) Jesus never even describes what it looks like in the Bible, just John. I am going to tell you it is hard for me to believe John's view, when his account of describing spiritual Heaven was after others tried to poison him to death (which he did not die from), and then left on an island to die. Just saying.
However, the song Heaven, articulates my thoughts on the matter quite nicely. Let me tell you what I am going to do when I get to Heaven. I'm gonna see everybody that Hell didn't bring through. All the Greats you said wouldn't make it to the Gates. But we showed our hearts. I am going to say it again because it makes me want to have church... BUT WE SHOWED OUR HEARTS... can't wait...I want to see my Heaven.
I love this song. I could listen to it for hours, actually his whole album, Sinner or Saint. However, this particular song even the boys know. When it comes on we all start dancing and singing. You will hear little boy voices busting out at the chorus, "Feels like Heaven." The basis of the song is that everyone's Heaven is different, whether it be in the natural or in the spiritual. See my Heaven was 6:40 a.m. this morning. For others it is for another time, or reason, but everyone searches for a somewhat of a natural Heaven just as much as a spiritual Heaven. It is a time and place that we say, "This is wonderful. Or that when we say it doesn't get any better than this_______." My natural Heaven is usually quiet. And for me that too is an oxymoron. I find it when no one is home and every animal is sleeping. I find it sitting on a beach just watching the ocean, while no one talks. I find it at a cabin, while sitting in a hot tub outside by myself looking at nature. My natural Heavens center me, speak to me, calms me, and refreshes me. I wonder why that is? I am sure there are scientific reasons for it, and also spiritual reasons for it.
There are powerful statements throughout the song that challenges my spiritual thinking with the natural. I hope they do you the same as you read. Everyone wants a Heaven, whether you get it from the drug lord or the good Lord. Everyone wants a taste of Heaven. I was told once by someone who works with Peace and Social Justice issues on a daily basis, "Everyone is their best they can be in that moment. No one in life is saying to themselves I am going to give my worse." I use to struggle with that statement, because it conflicted with my spiritual gauge of right and wrong. I am not going to say that I do not still struggle a little with that statement, because I have built a fort of spiritual beliefs that have been taught to me as truths instead of me experiencing truth. Then yes I could get into a faith debate within myself.
In Appalachia we have a culture different than other parts of the country, whether people want to believe it or not. We see God differently and teach God differently. Faith is grown from a Man, typically, behind a pulpit. That Man, wouldn't do or say anything contrary to what God would want or says, right? Questioning those words would mean you are questioning or we would say 'sinning' against God in this area. So people in Appalachia mostly regurgitate what they hear from a pulpit, and say it is God and claim faith to it. It is very cult like, actually. In Appalachia we are not divided as Christian or non-Christian. We are are divided more by denomination, which determines whether you are Christian or non-Christian. People do not ask you about your Christianity, but more where you go to church, which will determine your Christianity...Baptist seems to be the most holy (at least in my family), Nazarenes are close, Methodist are close, Presbyterians are close, Pentecostals (now thats just too far), Church of Christ (only ones going to Heaven), Disciples of Christ, United Church of Christ, or Unitarians let anyone and anything (definitely not Christians), and same with Jewish, Catholics, Muslims, or Greek Orthotics definitely not. If people from my area are reading at first there will not be agreement to my statements, because also in Appalachia we pride ourselves on hospitality to all people. However, we mask it by stating our religious belief system to hide our prejudices. I know that's harsh. But I will give an illustration of how we do it... "You know Mary Smith that lives on Main Street? No. Oh yes you do. The lady that goes to the Catholic church." Not only do we divide ourselves by denomination, but in Appalachia we divide ourselves by denomination and color (mind you in Appalachia also their is only black and white, anyone of color other than white is black).... the black baptist church, the black spirit filled church...we still typically throughout areas of our cities are very segregated in where we live, churches, and even in schools. Needless to say, our Heavens look different in the natural and the spiritual.
I believe where we miss it the most in life is we do not look at people's hearts, but instead judge others by what they perceive or need for their natural Heaven. Whether it is drugs, glass of wine, a beer, home, success, sports, relationship, a beach, religion, church, songs, we strive for our Heaven in the natural and in the spiritual. We try to put in our spiritual Heavens into words that try to articulate greatness, or the most wonderful things on earth... pearly gates, streets of gold, mansions, or 100 virgins...then when we struggle with any of those things descriptions so we say Heaven is the presence of God... I can tell you I struggle with articulating spiritual Heaven because I have never been there, and the only person who described what it looked like to us a human beings was John. (I say that from the Bible's perspective) Jesus never even describes what it looks like in the Bible, just John. I am going to tell you it is hard for me to believe John's view, when his account of describing spiritual Heaven was after others tried to poison him to death (which he did not die from), and then left on an island to die. Just saying.
However, the song Heaven, articulates my thoughts on the matter quite nicely. Let me tell you what I am going to do when I get to Heaven. I'm gonna see everybody that Hell didn't bring through. All the Greats you said wouldn't make it to the Gates. But we showed our hearts. I am going to say it again because it makes me want to have church... BUT WE SHOWED OUR HEARTS... can't wait...I want to see my Heaven.
Tuesday, December 26, 2017
"The Rope"
Right after 5:30 a.m., there are crazy noises that come from our living room. You will hear it in waves of moans and groans of struggle. It then will run up the stairs to the bedrooms, then down the stairs to the basement then back to the living room through the kitchen. Intermit, you will her pats of feet with no sound effects saying, "Chase me." Then back to the moans and groans of struggle. It is the most exciting toy in this house a rope. Millie (English bulldog) and Charlee (puppy) have assumed their position to wrestle with pulling the rope until one gets bored.
Since I have vowed to be more transparent in my thinking, owning my truth, and sharing it for the world to see, you gain an audience. Sometimes, it is the audience you might not want. It could be the audience that you do want, but gets offended by my wide-openness. Do I write for the audience or do I write for me? That is still up for debate. However, I would say those who read this need it just as much as I do. At this point, my part in the relationship is to be as bare as possible. I need to be that, and it seems others around me, or others that read these crazy blogs need it too.
In earlier blogs I owned being a disruptor in life. It is who I am. Part of that aspect of me is I love to wrestle with the ropes of life. It makes me smile typing it, and I get excited just thinking about it. I will pick up a rope and begin to run, all the while, baiting others to chase me. It is really fun to me, but some people do not like to play with rope. See at the end of a rope wrestle, there is a possibility that you end up with some cuts and bruises. You could be sore and you could lose the game. That is just too much for some people. So they won't play. Sometimes they think they want to play and jump in grab the rope then end up hating me, because the game went down the stairs or up to the bedrooms. The rope wrestle will expose ALL, even me. I always look at these things differently. It makes me stronger for the next time I play with the rope. I learn something new during a wrestle, but I never come out of a rope wrestle hating those that play. It is seems I like them more. It is almost sickening when you think about it. Shouldn't I hate those that oppose me? Shouldn't I be mad when someone pulls against me? Frankly, I am not. I actually think of them often, because when someone is not willing to wrestle the ropes of life out, it means the rope, and me are just not worth the fight. Like I said, playing with rope exposes us ALL.
I have learned this week those that play rope with me often know these things about me, and like to play rope just as much as I do. Playing rope is not for the weak, physically or emotionally. It exposes our weaknesses. Adults have terrible social and emotional skills these days, so it seems. Most need preschool curriculum and components in their lives. That is where you learn to play rope. Share...forgive...play...see no prejudices...make friends...love without filters...wrestle...learn responsibility...and repeat.
I am going to make a bold statement which could be offensive to some. If you are not willing to wrestle with the ropes of life with me, then I probably do not want you in my life. (Please everyone gasp) Lol. Harsh and true statement. If I cannot count on you to wrestle struggle out with me, or your struggle out with me, then you will not be around if I am wrestling with another rope of life. In this day and age, you can unfollow me, unfriend me, block me if you must, because I will play rope. Why is that? It is a necessity to me in being authentic, transparent, honest, and having integrity. I will call you out. I will own being called out. But at the end of the day, all that we are will be exposed. You can run from it, give up, or hide. All that is on you, because if you do it with me, then you will do it with others. I cannot account for your actions nor be your judge. Nonetheless, you will find me waiting with a rope, waiting to wrestle, because I will see if exposure will make you a lasting fixture in my life.
I use to take it hard when people would not be lasting fixtures of my life, that is no longer the case. It now seemingly prevents more heart-ache. The biggest reason people do not play rope as adults is in the name of God. Poor God gets almost the brunt of everything. Jesus wouldn't act that way... Jesus wouldn't talk that way... I hate to break the news to some Christians or denounce views of who Jesus is... But... Jesus was in the center of all kinds of conflict. He was the conflict. Not only was he "THE ROPE," he never ran from a wrestle. Many brought the ropes of life to him, yet every challenge he accepted. If my mind serves me right, the only conflict he did not resolve or reconcile through was when his mind was on ALL the WHOSOEVERS instead of pleasing the religious. However, he knew the WHOSOEVERS would be the gain, resolve and reconciliation, which also is the religious.
You might find your Jesus in a box, in a church, in a desire, in a synagogue, in creation, only with people that look, talk and act like you. And you know what? Those will be your things you get to answer for...But as for me don't get mad, because I find mine near a rope, or that I am running by you with a rope. Just smile and say, "There she goes again, her feet patting, Chase me." Come play if you like...I always make room and I will introduce to you my Jesus.
Since I have vowed to be more transparent in my thinking, owning my truth, and sharing it for the world to see, you gain an audience. Sometimes, it is the audience you might not want. It could be the audience that you do want, but gets offended by my wide-openness. Do I write for the audience or do I write for me? That is still up for debate. However, I would say those who read this need it just as much as I do. At this point, my part in the relationship is to be as bare as possible. I need to be that, and it seems others around me, or others that read these crazy blogs need it too.
In earlier blogs I owned being a disruptor in life. It is who I am. Part of that aspect of me is I love to wrestle with the ropes of life. It makes me smile typing it, and I get excited just thinking about it. I will pick up a rope and begin to run, all the while, baiting others to chase me. It is really fun to me, but some people do not like to play with rope. See at the end of a rope wrestle, there is a possibility that you end up with some cuts and bruises. You could be sore and you could lose the game. That is just too much for some people. So they won't play. Sometimes they think they want to play and jump in grab the rope then end up hating me, because the game went down the stairs or up to the bedrooms. The rope wrestle will expose ALL, even me. I always look at these things differently. It makes me stronger for the next time I play with the rope. I learn something new during a wrestle, but I never come out of a rope wrestle hating those that play. It is seems I like them more. It is almost sickening when you think about it. Shouldn't I hate those that oppose me? Shouldn't I be mad when someone pulls against me? Frankly, I am not. I actually think of them often, because when someone is not willing to wrestle the ropes of life out, it means the rope, and me are just not worth the fight. Like I said, playing with rope exposes us ALL.
I have learned this week those that play rope with me often know these things about me, and like to play rope just as much as I do. Playing rope is not for the weak, physically or emotionally. It exposes our weaknesses. Adults have terrible social and emotional skills these days, so it seems. Most need preschool curriculum and components in their lives. That is where you learn to play rope. Share...forgive...play...see no prejudices...make friends...love without filters...wrestle...learn responsibility...and repeat.
I am going to make a bold statement which could be offensive to some. If you are not willing to wrestle with the ropes of life with me, then I probably do not want you in my life. (Please everyone gasp) Lol. Harsh and true statement. If I cannot count on you to wrestle struggle out with me, or your struggle out with me, then you will not be around if I am wrestling with another rope of life. In this day and age, you can unfollow me, unfriend me, block me if you must, because I will play rope. Why is that? It is a necessity to me in being authentic, transparent, honest, and having integrity. I will call you out. I will own being called out. But at the end of the day, all that we are will be exposed. You can run from it, give up, or hide. All that is on you, because if you do it with me, then you will do it with others. I cannot account for your actions nor be your judge. Nonetheless, you will find me waiting with a rope, waiting to wrestle, because I will see if exposure will make you a lasting fixture in my life.
I use to take it hard when people would not be lasting fixtures of my life, that is no longer the case. It now seemingly prevents more heart-ache. The biggest reason people do not play rope as adults is in the name of God. Poor God gets almost the brunt of everything. Jesus wouldn't act that way... Jesus wouldn't talk that way... I hate to break the news to some Christians or denounce views of who Jesus is... But... Jesus was in the center of all kinds of conflict. He was the conflict. Not only was he "THE ROPE," he never ran from a wrestle. Many brought the ropes of life to him, yet every challenge he accepted. If my mind serves me right, the only conflict he did not resolve or reconcile through was when his mind was on ALL the WHOSOEVERS instead of pleasing the religious. However, he knew the WHOSOEVERS would be the gain, resolve and reconciliation, which also is the religious.
You might find your Jesus in a box, in a church, in a desire, in a synagogue, in creation, only with people that look, talk and act like you. And you know what? Those will be your things you get to answer for...But as for me don't get mad, because I find mine near a rope, or that I am running by you with a rope. Just smile and say, "There she goes again, her feet patting, Chase me." Come play if you like...I always make room and I will introduce to you my Jesus.
Saturday, December 23, 2017
"Look for the Gift"
On this early Saturday morning, I cannot help but almost be on my knees begging for Charlee (the puppy) to please sleep-in. At 5 a.m. on the dot, she would not hear of such things. However, this morning we have more than a party of one. Not sure why Millie (our English Bulldog), has jumped at the opportunity to get in the action this morning, but today it seems it suits her. If you have never been around a English Bulldog they are very comical in their own right. They are funny looking, graced with an underbite, short nose, and let the wrinkles fall where they may. Funny looking. The kind that are so ugly, that they are cute. They make the weirdest noises, with every movement, or even when they are not moving at all. It is constant Chewbacca-like sounds, yet moves like Jabba-the-hut, as they pivot on their butts using their front paws while they are sitting. They are very "bullheaded" as you give commands. Some would say, "Now be nice. They are just stubborn." However, she makes us laugh. I always have wanted this breed of dog. I like beefy dogs, but this breed always seemed out of my reach as they are pricey. I also have heard they all have medical issues. Knock on wood, so far I have found to be false. But in this house, I am Millie's person. As I even type that, I am shaking my head...smh, because she is a hot mess.
Millie doesn't like to share. She wants control of every environment, food bowl, dog toy, dog bed, or even when everyone needs to go out to potty. If she is around, you will not have any personal space, and at times no breathable air. (Her gas is horrible.) Did I say I always wanted this dog and how pricey they are? Typically to the tune of $1000- $2800. Ohh and at the moment while everyone else is sleeping this house its like romper-room... my Shhhh isn't cutting it. I am really waiting for the sleeping to start awakening, and then implode on Charlee and Millie, maybe then I can go back to bed.
It seems dogs lately are teaching me a lot about humanity. Millie is very relatable and I know people just like her. We all are stubborn at times, want control, have horrible gas, give others no space, and can be funny looking. While others just sit back, and laugh at us. I wonder sometimes does God think some of the ways we think about things? "Oh look, she is so ugly that she is cute. I can't help, but love her." One must wonder. My God is like that I believe. He finds somewhat humor in my nastiness, yet loves me anyway. My God knew how pricey I was, and bought me anyway. Knowing how many issues I really could have and do have.
We are days away from what the Christian community calls, Advent to be over. Christmas is almost here. It seems that this is a time of year that we want all our ugliness to disappear. We go to Church more in this season, be more kind to others during this season, spend time with each other during this season, eat more during this season, sing more, give and receive more in this season. It is the season of more of our best of whatever that is, and who deserves what gift? We teach children, naughty or nice is the definition of who gets what or gets period. But is that true? Not just in this season, but in life? I can attest that in my adulthood, nasty people still get good gifts. Which conflicts with everything I have ever been taught. Just like with Millie, she is probably the nastiest character/personality of pet we have, but she definitely has the most in this house. If she doesn't she will take it anyway. I know those people. Those people in life that we say, "But they don't deserve that..." Whatever that might be. Then we mutter, "Life is just not fair." How do we rationalize those that lie, cheat, steal, and continue to have more than those that are honest, and work hard? Is it life is just not fair? I don't buy it anymore.
We have all heard spiritual spin, "For he causes the sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the just and the unjust." Here is the difference that I rationalize...being good, kind, working hard, and loving the Lord will always bring me hope, peace, joy, and love. An Advent season all the time. Imagine that? I do not need to anticipate something I already have. For me this is not the season for the anticipation of Christ birth during the Advent season, but the acknowledgement I have a gift that I too do not deserve, but there is no waiting or anticipating needed. So even when the sun rises on the evil and good and the rain comes to the just and unjust... I am not still seeking with anticipation like maybe the evil or so called unjust are...I have my hope, peace, joy, and love. No one can take that from me, nor can anything or anyone give it to me... it just was a gift, I didn't deserve but just needed to receive.
Millie doesn't like to share. She wants control of every environment, food bowl, dog toy, dog bed, or even when everyone needs to go out to potty. If she is around, you will not have any personal space, and at times no breathable air. (Her gas is horrible.) Did I say I always wanted this dog and how pricey they are? Typically to the tune of $1000- $2800. Ohh and at the moment while everyone else is sleeping this house its like romper-room... my Shhhh isn't cutting it. I am really waiting for the sleeping to start awakening, and then implode on Charlee and Millie, maybe then I can go back to bed.
It seems dogs lately are teaching me a lot about humanity. Millie is very relatable and I know people just like her. We all are stubborn at times, want control, have horrible gas, give others no space, and can be funny looking. While others just sit back, and laugh at us. I wonder sometimes does God think some of the ways we think about things? "Oh look, she is so ugly that she is cute. I can't help, but love her." One must wonder. My God is like that I believe. He finds somewhat humor in my nastiness, yet loves me anyway. My God knew how pricey I was, and bought me anyway. Knowing how many issues I really could have and do have.
We are days away from what the Christian community calls, Advent to be over. Christmas is almost here. It seems that this is a time of year that we want all our ugliness to disappear. We go to Church more in this season, be more kind to others during this season, spend time with each other during this season, eat more during this season, sing more, give and receive more in this season. It is the season of more of our best of whatever that is, and who deserves what gift? We teach children, naughty or nice is the definition of who gets what or gets period. But is that true? Not just in this season, but in life? I can attest that in my adulthood, nasty people still get good gifts. Which conflicts with everything I have ever been taught. Just like with Millie, she is probably the nastiest character/personality of pet we have, but she definitely has the most in this house. If she doesn't she will take it anyway. I know those people. Those people in life that we say, "But they don't deserve that..." Whatever that might be. Then we mutter, "Life is just not fair." How do we rationalize those that lie, cheat, steal, and continue to have more than those that are honest, and work hard? Is it life is just not fair? I don't buy it anymore.
We have all heard spiritual spin, "For he causes the sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the just and the unjust." Here is the difference that I rationalize...being good, kind, working hard, and loving the Lord will always bring me hope, peace, joy, and love. An Advent season all the time. Imagine that? I do not need to anticipate something I already have. For me this is not the season for the anticipation of Christ birth during the Advent season, but the acknowledgement I have a gift that I too do not deserve, but there is no waiting or anticipating needed. So even when the sun rises on the evil and good and the rain comes to the just and unjust... I am not still seeking with anticipation like maybe the evil or so called unjust are...I have my hope, peace, joy, and love. No one can take that from me, nor can anything or anyone give it to me... it just was a gift, I didn't deserve but just needed to receive.
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