It is the sixth day of what started out as a three day weekend in honor of Martin Luther King Jr. I do not want to complain, but I want out of the house. Snow has shut down our schools for three extra days. They originally called for 1-3 inches of snow and we got 6-8 inches. The city was not prepared. Maybe they were prepared, but do not have the means to satisfy any of us or keep children safe as they ride a bus. One can only do so many puzzles, board games, card games, and eat Tandy's food until you cannot move. Do not get me wrong, I adore my boys, and I adore Tandy but I need... to be at a basketball court, be in a classroom, be around other people, to be helping special needs children. After so many days not doing what I am made to do, I am like a fish out of water. Almost like a refugee, because I have been displaced. Stay at home mom is not my gig, although Tandy begs for it in the form of retirement.
This week I had another one of those moments that took me back to a "KNOW THAT I KNOW" moment. I was talking to someone via text and I looked up at Tandy and said, "They missed it." She smiled and said to me, "I know." Those people whom I was talking about I love dearly, nothing could have changed the events that set course other than themselves, and now they are starting to see what it has cost them. How often do we take chances in life or gamble on what is uncertain? Almost never. We go to what looks easy, what taste sweet, what looks peaceful, what looks secure and then find out it wasn't the way, because our journey needed us to take a risk. A risk to trust. A risk to believe. A risk to have faith.
I am in this holding place in my life. I am trying not to fight it, but to let it do its work in me. Ringing of, "Character before calling. Character before calling" in my head. I am having my character developed. It is interesting because people might think I have great character. I am not saying I don't, but do I have faith with my character. In different situations would I steal if I had no money? I know it might be hard to think like that, but I have been put in that situation. Do I have faith even enough to let God deal with situations or do I figure it out on my own? And even finding the balance of both. Will I walk with integrity even if there is personal gain if I don't? What makes me mad, injustice? Then do I speak truth, or do I say it will all work itself out? Where is the balance?
My hope in this place comes from the "SEED." Seeds I have planted and seeds planted in me. It is a time of growth. Never underestimate the power of the seed. Miracles happen because of seeds. Hearts change because of seeds. Mountains move because of seeds. Restoration happens because of seeds. I am not where I thought I was going to be, but the seed needed to be put in the ground. Character needed challenged and cultivated. Have I given up, "No." Harvest will come as long as I take care of the seed. I have not given up faith. The power of the seed is what drives me. I am displaced for it to do its work in me. I believe God takes us to these places and then flashes us hope, which speaks, "The seed is not dead." When seeds are nurtured then topsoils of hurt are shoved aways because the focus is the seed. It is why Jesus could show mercy as people spat in his face. It is why David knew he only needed stones to face a giant. Seeds were being planted. It is why Moses needed to be a shepherd before parting the Red Sea. Seeds were being planted. It is why in my life I was handed a Webble-Wobble person, from one of the most influential teachers, because a seed was being planted that I won't fall down.
Over and over my spirit cries out to find the seed. Shove the topsoil away, find the seed. Never underestimate the power of the seed.
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